Owl's Hour

It’s almost 3:00 AM and I’m still scrolling down my newsfeed bored to death and moody sick of laughing at the same jokes unable to appreciate anything, everything sucks too tired and too lazy, can’t do much chat is off, not even in the mood to talk already having conversations with songs in times like this, food comes in handy fries with cheese, pizza, cupcakes and candy it wouldn’t hurt to get a drink so I go to the fridge sneaking so I don’t wake anyone up a night owl’s life, it’s time for lunch I sip on the way back payback now I have to take a leak my stomach hurts, it’s making me want to do it in the hallway I run all the way to the bathroom, kicking the door out of the blue I dropped my drink all shocked, I wish I hadn’t what I saw was too much too graphic, I'm looking in disgust I dropped on my knees and started throwing up the bathroom all full of blood and buzzing flies, the floor all full of guts flesh and remains of all my loved ones with feces and hairballs everywhere I pinch myself hoping it’s a nightmare but they all hurt more than what I saw in tears backing up slowly about to call the law I bumped into something or someone I hope it’s just the wall Please follow me on: www.facebook.com/elisartis www.twitter.com/elisartis www.elisartis.com

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Iris E. S-Lewis

Date: 11/9/2015 4:55:00 PM

Wow. Such creativity and dare. Peace; and welcome to Poetry Soup.

Jan Allison

Date: 11/9/2015 1:56:00 PM

Dropping back with my congrats at your win in the trashed #3 contest Elis:-) hugs Jan xx

Skat A

Date: 11/9/2015 11:14:00 AM

Elis, Congratulations on your Trashed #3 win. SKAT

Elis Artis
Date: 11/9/2015 11:40:00 AM

Thank you so much, dear SKAT:)

Paul Callus

Date: 11/5/2015 2:49:00 PM

Hi Elis! Once I slept on a full tummy and had indigestion during the night; it peaked on horrible dreams and nightmarish emotions. This write somehow reminds me of my bad experience! Your ending leaves the door ajar for further things to come! // paul

Elis Artis
Date: 11/5/2015 6:22:00 PM

That's exactly what happened to me! That's how I got inspired to write it:) Thank you so much for stopping by, dear Paul:) I appreciate that dearly

Jan Allison

Date: 11/1/2015 5:30:00 PM

gosh what a graphic ending Elis - thankfully I dont get the munchies in the night :-) hugs jan xx

Elis Artis
Date: 11/3/2015 7:18:00 AM

Lol! That was my intention writing this, I wanted it to be like an urban legend about getting the munchies at night. I'm so glad it worked:) Thank you so much for stopping by

Carl Fraser

Date: 10/28/2015 4:51:00 PM

Wow . Definately outta the box there my friend. Held my interest all the way. I know the night owl routine very well. Blessings. CARL

Elis Artis
Date: 10/28/2015 6:31:00 PM

Thank you so much! I really appreciate that:) But you should've stayed for the twist at the end, the whole piece just goes into a dark place. It's a Halloween poem

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/27/2015 4:06:00 PM

oh my goodness, life as a nightmare. That got repulsive at the end. An interesting write!

Elis Artis
Date: 10/27/2015 6:38:00 PM

Thank you so much, dear Andrea:) I try to write from a really dark place and go as extreme and graphic as possible to get reactions out of people lol

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 10/27/2015 2:07:00 PM

Much better!

Elis Artis
Date: 10/27/2015 6:36:00 PM

Thank you:)

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 10/27/2015 9:27:00 AM

"I run all the way to the bathroom, kicking the door!" Go through the full piece and make everything happen now, not in the past. It will give the piece more life. Another example "I pinch myself" oops I forgot change sip to slip earlier in the poem. I'm glad you aren't taking this as a criticism, I wouldn't go to this trouble with a person who lacked talent.

Elis Artis
Date: 10/27/2015 10:40:00 AM

I made those changes too. I get inspired by music a lot so I got into the habit of not worrying about the tense, but I should focus on it from now on. Oh not at all! This is really helping me, like...A lot! Thank you so much dear Richard:) God bless you and keep you safe

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 10/27/2015 8:51:00 AM

Concentrate a bit on tense, you switch from present to past. Example line "so I went to the fridge" small change "I go to the fridge" "Couldn't help but slip" change to "I slip" these are a few examples, I hope they help. By switching your narrative it messes with the flow of a really well told story.

Elis Artis
Date: 10/27/2015 9:15:00 AM

I knew something wasn't right while doing the final edits, thank you so much! Now I made the changes. Please feel free to point anything like this on my poems, it really helps me a lot. Thank you so much

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 10/27/2015 8:42:00 AM

Disturbing piece, effectivly written. A bit dark for my personal taste but I still appreciate it is well done.

Elis Artis
Date: 10/27/2015 9:12:00 AM

Thank you so much! I tried to write something really dark, as dark as possible lol. Thank you for stopping by

Scott Thirtyseven

Date: 10/27/2015 7:19:00 AM

Gosh this certainly goes some places. I agree with Silent, it's the random effect that keeps us on our toes. Well done.

Skat A

Date: 10/26/2015 4:35:00 PM

Elis, I think you need some sleep. :) this is epic... SKAT

Elis Artis
Date: 10/26/2015 5:40:00 PM

Lol, I really do! I'd been pulling all-nighters the whole summer to write, I still feel like I need a lot of sleep. Thank you for stopping by!