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Overactive Imagination

Laying in my cozy bed And drifting off to dreams, A sudden panic fills my head: What if this isn't as it seems? What if while I'm tucked in, Slipping into sleep, Giant monsters and their kin Through the darkness creep? I draw my hand back to me, deep into my sheet, Scared that if I leave it free Something monstrous it'll meet! It's not like this is new to me When I'm alone in my abode. Frightsome beasts I fear I'll see- Is there one in the commode? Sure, to you it's just a toilet Standing stock-still in the loo. But of my mind, when I fear and fret, You haven't got a clue. Yes, I know it's just machinery, But maybe when I flush Horrors will purvey the scenery, Responding in a rush. Eek! Stop talking! Wait, wait, wait! What's that above our heads? A rusty, musty AC grate, Is that what you just said? I know it's dust, I know it's shadow Behind the grate's steel bars, But looking up from down below I see a face pockmarked with scars. As I brush my pearly whites at night I risk a glance up high, And then I nearly die of fright And soon begin to cry. I see the face, still staring down, Watching me brush my teeth. Daddy runs in and looks around, So I heave a sigh of relief. He gets his tools, tells me to look, And gently unscrews the grate. I watch, see neither beast, nor crook, Nor any evil trait. After all this time, I've come to see That I don't need to fear. Creatures lurk not in shadows near me, Nor every creak I hear. I've come a long way, and I'll never go back To how I was before, When from every crevice, every crack I feared beasties would pour. What's that? It's time to go to bed? Ok, I guess you're right. But, um, well, before you go... Would you please leave on the light?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024




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Date: 10/22/2024 10:00:00 PM
But to offer an actual criticism, I'd say, in spite of a couple of hiccups in meter along the way; the explication is perfect and is both light and somewhat dark in character but never losing its transparency - "caught-up" in the story as the expression goes, with some descriptive surprises even ~ a pretty "fair" work then, which, of course, in yester-years would signal a High Recommendation. Reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe which could be a good thing. R W.
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Date: 10/22/2024 8:35:00 PM
Wel-come (or ill) to Poetry as captive chained to captivate. Found you in submissions for criticism/s and will now "follow you" and "favorite" this poem because you are now family. It was fun and exciting reading your poem so I must have liked it. Poetry Soup is a good place with many excellent poets and the most beautiful hearts you'll ever find. Share your perfect truth with us and we'll do the same dear friend. R. W. [FAV]
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Date: 9/30/2024 7:27:00 PM
Hiya, your poems great! Although i think theres a spelling mistake in the fourth line? I believe you mean "What if this isn't as it seems?" instead of "What is this isn't as it seems?". As for the poem itself, you have a humorous and attention grabbing writing style, with rhymes that feel fun to read in ones head. I hope this helps ^^
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Maggie McCann
Date: 10/1/2024 9:07:00 AM
Oh thank you so much! I somehow didn't catch that.
Date: 9/28/2024 5:09:00 AM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I welcome you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
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Date: 9/27/2024 7:53:00 AM
This is amazing, Maggie! I love it! Do you mind if I share this with my social media? of course I'll give you credit. As a fellow Alabamian I love this. check my poems out too if you like. Although, none of them are as masterful as this.
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Maggie McCann
Date: 9/27/2024 8:19:00 AM
Hey! Thank you so much! Yes, that would be totally fine!

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