Over Thinkers Love

With out you I’m empty, Empty and alone with my thoughts. When your attention does not occupy my mind the worst insecurities do. Everything is built around you, My personality, My priorities, My goals, My thoughts, Each and everything revolves around you. I wait anxiously. For a reply, For your approval. I constantly watch the time and the door. Listen for the recognizable roar, Wait for the smell of exhaust and diesel. Time spent waiting to hear from you. I wonder aimlessly. Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? Are you okay? Am I enough for you? Is all this a waste of time? Am I worth your time? Do I look good enough for you? Do these clothes bring out all the right things? Did I hide the scars, stretch marks and every roll good enough? Are you still interested? Am I doing enough? Is there still desire? Do you still find me attractive? Is there a reason why you seem so distant? Your ambitions changed, Why? In the beginning you had been determined to forget her, But to love me. To help me forget him and love you. Behind every smile and tear Is you. Happiness has hidden in the streams that run down my face. And pain hides behind the yellow stained smile that you said was beautiful. Do you still think I’m pretty? Am I still worth the time and effort? Do you still see a future with me? Do you look at other girls the way you should look at me? It isn’t you that causes pain, It’s the monstrous thoughts that dance through my brain. It’s them, not you that causes a knife to cut. It’s the fact that I have centered my whole damn life around you and continue to fail everyday. It’s the fact that I love you more than myself and require my self-love from you that cause more pain. But thank you for showing love to an over-thinker. Tezra Rima Poem Sponsor Regina McIntosh