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Out of Darkness

The faded wooden doors of the church
Loomed over me like the gates of hell.
A portal of anger and sadness,
That could consume my very body and soul,
Like a rabid dog looking for sanity
Forcing me into a typhoon of misery
And freezing me for a moment in time,
To remember a reality 
That’s no longer real.

My soul, no longer a part of me,
Watching from above;
I watched my feet carry me,
With stuttering steps
Like a dying child;
Flowers of all kinds,
Roses, carnations, and ferns,
Poked their heads from every corner
Like peeping children
Hiding from their angry mothers.
Their smell no longer sweet
But reeked of death and heartache.
I no longer wanted to breathe
Panic ripped through my heart
Like a jagged knife
Tearing every ounce of sanity from my soul.

I gaped in fear as I saw her face,
A face that had once
Radiated with sunshine and laughter
Like a rainbow after a storm.
Was now filled with death and silence
To never again hold the key of life
But locked for eternity
In tragedy and despair,
Taking with her my life
And burning the bridge behind her.

I reached out for her hand
Then drew back in terror,
As her icy flesh burnt my skin;
A hand once warm and full of love
That comforted me,
Now lay motionless for eternity.

Sounds of grief and heartbreak 
Burnt my ears like fire,
Causing me to glance in every direction;
People, many I knew,
Looked as if they too were in hell
Being gnawed at
By grief and pain.

My knees swayed,
Like a bridge in a terrible storm,
And buckled beneath me,
Throwing me violently to the floor;
As I lay cold and beaten,
I no longer cared to live,
My life was gone;
I looked up, hoping God would take me,
But saw only darkness instead.

Gradually, in the midst of that darkness, 
Was a tiny light.
A light so bright and pure
I had to shield my eyes;
It called to me to get up
And like a broken child
I crawled to my feet;
I stood facing her 
Her shiny skin gleamed in the light
Like a shooting star
As her beauty
Transcended her body.

At that moment she spoke to me
Begging me to go on;
I turned from her, 
Facing the once hellish gates,
And staggered into a heavenly place
She promised to wait for me.

I reached for the handles of the heavy door
And walked out into the light,
A place where she and I
Were to live together
For all eternity.

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