L'Nass Shango Poet Choka

Only One Voice

Deep funnels gurgling
                                  From abysmal drums rumbling
                              Dark caves humming gargled songs
                              Where light silent falls.
                                  Eddies swirling rise like winds
                                     As bubbles bounce: white mothballs

                                 The winds rustle leaves
                                     Strings of sighing violins
                                        The heart swishing, dance the beat
                                        Of lovers laughing
                                      Footfalls by rivers murmuring
                                 Where the mountains’ wood dove wails

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May 1, 2009 at 2:08 PM The vivid images convey your thoughts in a powerful and creative way in this poem. Nice use of alliteration. Thank you for sharing your talent with us and for the kind words on my lanterne. Keep on writing! Karen

Shiki Remindio April 30, 2009 at 11:19 PM Oh, it's just heavenly. I think, no, I know that I can hear that river, I know I can see the mountains, I know, I know, everything that you put... thank you. ~Shiki

Nadia Shahwan April 27, 2009 at 7:29 AM Beautiful sedoka. All the best.

Ernilando Tugaff April 25, 2009 at 7:33 AM Hello L'nass, very nice poem. As if I could hear the drums rumbling, the rivers murmuring, the sighing of the violin. Wonderful. Very poetic. Thank you for sharing. Ernilando

Vince Suzadail Jr. April 21, 2009 at 7:19 AM A lot of movement in this. Vince

Tyesha Ehigiator April 20, 2009 at 6:35 AM Wonderful piece here, It made me laugh a little bit, had to imagine this in my mind.. very descriptive with incredible imagery.You have painted an intriguing picture here, I love(The heart swishing, dance the beat Of lovers laughing) Awesome~ God Bless and Best Wishes Always, Tyesha

James Marshall Goff April 19, 2009 at 7:19 PM L'nass, this may sound funny, but this overall humming with clouds and darkness approaching fills me with the same fear I felt when I was a lad and coach sent us racing home on our bicycles when we spotted a tornado in the distance coming our way (about 1965) terror amid the calm, hard to explain, cool poem, Jim

Abe Lopez April 18, 2009 at 2:46 PM Nice display of sounds.

Sue Mason April 18, 2009 at 10:45 AM The first stanza reminds me of my "Witches Poem" and then it moved into another place with the violins ... thought I was back in the cave for awhile there ... LOL ... great imagery ... love "the heart swishing" !!

Colin Mitchell Williams April 18, 2009 at 10:21 AM Hello L'nass.. there certainly is a roll in your poems these days.... beautifully conceived images....

Arany P. April 18, 2009 at 4:00 AM the music in your words ... are really awesome! each line evolves so beatifully!! lovely choka ... best wishes L'nass!! ~ Arany

Brian Strand April 18, 2009 at 12:32 AM Best wishes with this one L'nass.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments

Barbara Gorelick April 17, 2009 at 9:06 PM this is lovely..I LOVE the last line. BG See soup mail

Sharon Winter April 17, 2009 at 2:12 PM Wow. I'm in love with this one. Your descriptive imagery is astounding. Love, Shar

Lena Townsend April 17, 2009 at 2:10 PM Beautiful, a peaceful write. It is full of images that capture the heart. Very happy and light. Well done. Great luck in the contest if this is for the contest. Smiles from Lolita~ thank you for all your wonderful contests.

Raul Moreno April 17, 2009 at 1:11 PM Thanks for supporting my contest...Raul

Diane Christian April 17, 2009 at 12:51 PM what a beautiful poem, I am not familiar with choka but this is just wonderful, thanks for all your kind comments on my poetry God bless you from diane

Charmaine Chircop April 17, 2009 at 10:34 AM wonderful melody in this well written literature,like a violin your verses and notes-bravo as always-charma

Michael Jordan April 17, 2009 at 9:44 AM L'nass - I apologize for taking so long to reply - I have been dealing with a lot of health issues the last couple of years and I'm just now getting back into life and it has me very busy - I love the way you write and this poem made me smile a very peaceful and loving smile at the end - You know I posted a poem long ago called Construction - Reconstruction which is basically the story of my life - I will asap catch up on some more of your poetry ok, God Bless, MJ

John Rhinem April 17, 2009 at 9:11 AM "Hello Gifted, Blessed & Wonderful L'nass!!!":):)~"You" are always so soulful within "Your Wonderful Words of Hearts Verse!!!":):)~And this write seems to be somewhat bittersweet; amid its depthful compassions perhaps!!?~"You" have quickly became one of my very favorite writers of all time within this place and beyond~"Excellent & Stirring Write!!!"~"My Love & Warmth Always To 'You & Your Loves,' John!!!":):)~Lets go view another of "Your" writes....

Emily Kroeger April 17, 2009 at 8:46 AM wow I like itits marvalous

Marvin Anderson April 17, 2009 at 8:18 AM nice. Where light silent falls. nice line.