Only Child
Narcissistic little freak –
The world isn’t meant to like you
There’ll be many parties
Where nobody invites you
Dance around with Mommy,
Dance your TikTok video
Hope you’ve got your bubble-wrap
Hope you don’t plan on a girlfriend
Only child syndrome
Only child syndrome
Only child syndrome
Only child syndrome
That’s what we get for sparing the rod –
A coddled little demigod
Alone in his urine, the whole playroom sogged
One day he’ll command a firing squad
(chorus)
Mama loves you dearly
Grandma does, sincerely
We’re takin’ you out yearly
To get lost in the maze of corn
Go ridin’ on that tractor
Where hay fever is a factor
God bless this child actor
And the day that he was born
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