Online Shopping
His profile said all the things, that in his head, he thinks he wants to be
but said none of the things, that he knew he'd need to be
Her profile said all the things she didn't want him to be,
but said none of the things,that she knew she really couldn't be
His picture was taken six months prior from arm's length - a real 'selfie';
hiding waistline and bald spot which were both expanding rapidly;
his 2 month old prison ink, was turned away from the lens, discretely
Her picture was taken by a wedding photographer in 2003,
wearing a dress that made his eyes pop out, quite literally
and would make her eyes pop out too, if she tried to wear it now, actually
They met over coffee and were quietly and equally mortified;
they managed some small talk, well, really that's kind of a glorified
way of saying they mumbled a few words and ran out the door, horrified
He, never looked at her profile again and he bought a new car,
then he joined a new website with the new username 'Rockstar'
She, sent a polite message saying she was taking a break from dating,
then she went back to her laptop and resumed her man-baiting
The moral of the story, if there's a remote possibility
of there being morals in such a tawdry story
Is that even when you go to the girlfriend/boyfriend store,
you must always remember, caveat emptor
Copyright © David Brown | Year Posted 2014
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