Teddy Kimathi Poet Free verse

Onion

You thought I was all raw, naked and vulnerable,
when you tore me apart,
like a child eagerly tearing up a gift wrapper
on a Christmas present.
I'm not a gift that you can sink your hands in,
and take every bit of me!
I'm an onion....yes, an eternal onion! Forever you'll
remove every layer of me, only to surprise
you with another layer; harder and more
painful for you to see!


Word Count: 72

Date of Entry: 18/11/2016

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Connie Marcum Wong December 19, 2016 at 6:19 AM Congratulations on your high placement Teddy. A very deserving win for you! 7 ; ) Teddy Kimathi December 21, 2016 at 12:53 AM Hi Connie. Thank you so much for your warm applause!! *^_^*

Kai Michael Neumann December 18, 2016 at 10:44 AM Ouch. That hits. And touches emotions and memories. An eternal onion, well done. Congratulations on your win, Kai Teddy Kimathi December 19, 2016 at 2:30 AM Thank you so much Kai, for your kind applause, and enjoying my piece!!! :-)

Afzal Nusker December 18, 2016 at 12:07 AM Wow, an eternal onion...what a perfect metaphor to express your defying strength against the bad. I loved your last four lines. Congrats on your win, Teddy. Teddy Kimathi December 19, 2016 at 2:29 AM Hi Afzal. Thank you so much for your warm applause, and enjoying my piece!!! *^_^*

Richard Lamoureux December 17, 2016 at 3:40 PM I think you did this well Teddy, congrats. Teddy Kimathi December 19, 2016 at 2:26 AM Greetings, Richard. Thank you so much for your applause, and enjoying my piece!!! :-)

Anu Nayak December 17, 2016 at 1:33 PM Dear Teddy, awesome:) Congrats on your win!!loved the metaphor! Surprising with the strong inner core to the abuses hurled!Inner strength here!!! love, Anu:) Teddy Kimathi December 19, 2016 at 2:23 AM Thanks so much for enjoying my piece, Anu!!! *^_^* I really love using metaphors.... I thought this poem would inspire us and others, when our esteem or identity is faced by adversity from outside. Regards, Teddy ;-)

David Smith November 18, 2016 at 11:53 PM Very original and poignant. You got the length of poem just right. Just enough great wording to make your point. Best regards David in NZ Teddy Kimathi November 20, 2016 at 2:56 PM Greetings from Kenya, David! ;-) Thank you so much for enjoying my piece!! :-)

Arthur Vaso November 18, 2016 at 8:55 PM What a creative and beautiful write you have done here! :) Teddy Kimathi November 20, 2016 at 2:53 PM Thank you so much for kind comment, Arthur!! ;-)

Akkina Downing November 18, 2016 at 4:35 PM Enjoying reading this. Very good :) Teddy Kimathi November 19, 2016 at 4:58 AM Thank you so much, Akkina!! *^_^*

Lin Lane November 18, 2016 at 2:48 PM My thought is that maybe you'll make her cry when she strips the next layer of you away. Good one, Teddy. Teddy Kimathi November 18, 2016 at 3:09 PM Thank you for reading and enjoying my piece, Lin!! *^_^*

Heidi Sands November 18, 2016 at 2:17 PM Wow. Powerful one, Teddy! Teddy Kimathi November 18, 2016 at 3:07 PM Thank you so much for enjoying it, Heidi!! *^_^*