ONE OF THE WORST THINGS ON THE PLANET

I despise JOB INTERVIEWS Just like a stale ASPARAGUS SANDWICH! "TELL me about yourself" The interviewer eyes me, anticipating the perfect answer. I only offer a slight smile. I muster up my best and say, "I am a serious person. AS SERIOUS AS CANCER MORE SERIOUS THAN A PANTHER." I can not believe myself! Why did I say that? What was the art of interviewing anyhow? You know that part where every Reply is EXACT MATTER OF FACT? not in my case. What should I respond when she asks, "Why do you want to work for the organization?" My personal answer would have been, "For the money of course." But that would be the disqualifying Reply. Words swam in my head. Then I said, "This company has the best reputation for Training its employees. What I wanted to say was, "Look you have my Resume here, call me if you have any openings." I really pondered the art of begging! But that wasn't Appropriate. She hit me again! "WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR LAST JOB?" Laaady?! I only stared Into space for at least a whole minute or Two. Then I said, "My personality wasn't compatible With the employment I wanted to branch out. Was that one answer or two? THIS WAS A CRUCIBLE! I wanted to gnaw my neck off. (not really possible) Another question?! Tell me everything you know about our company. I swallowed hard. A fish bone from last night's dinner? "Well I don't....I know you offer OJT." She scribbled something on a pad as i noticed Late In the encounter. Thank you for your interest. She spoke the uniform salutation. Well keep your Resume on file. FINALLY! and a few HALLELUJAH!!! HAHAHA!!