One Hard Pea

“She’s let me down again Clare Cox” the ‘missus’ fumed about her wayward aid. Now with the job to do upon her own. For other arrangements have been made. “You’re helping me today” she pointed “And I don’t want any spiels”. “Fair go” I replied, “I don’t know nothing, about serving meals on wheels”. Well I soon learnt I tell you, the wife’s anger soon did heal When I carried in the soups and sweets. She took in the midday meal. We propped at all the diner’s homes, where the folks would say g’day. Most were ‘oldies’ that I rarely saw, but I knew them anyway. The ‘missus’ ‘neath her breath, gave out a groan “Prepare for this old one. She’s a flamin’ whingeing ‘battle axe’, which can’t be pleased by anyone, It doesn’t matter what we do, she will grumble and abuse, If it’s not about the food we bring, it’s dirt upon our shoes”. “Who’s that?” I heard sarcastically. The ‘missus’ gave an enforced grin. “Why Aggie he’s my husband”…“Does he know what he’s doing? He better not be like Clare Cox, that ‘tart’ tried to choke me”. Aggie put a plate upon the table that held one solitary pea. “Look at this!” She pointed, to the shrivelled up hard pea. “How could anyone eat that, it’s like a rock as you can see”. I picked the pea up off the plate, rolled it ‘round my mouth a mite. Gripping the pea between my teeth, I found it way too hard to bite. “You’re right you know” I grinned at Aggie. Still the scowl wore on her face. I tied to humour her a bit, when I said, “You have a case, I’ll take it to a lawyer, he’ll sue the council for your pea”… “Well don’t forget to say,” she said…“It’s already been through me”.