One F'N Word

One F’n Word One word Just one word Keeps me from sleep Makes me grind my teeth And cry like a girl I can’t use it It just isn’t right I can’t replace it No other says what I want to say Just the way I want to say it The thesaurus doesn’t work The dictionary isn’t any help I would love to take a drink Smoke up so I can forget Suicide might help But that word would still be there Haunting me into my next life I started writing to relax It worked for way too many years Then I wrote that word That one word Someday I will put that writing on a drive To work on something else That one F’n word will stay with me Calling to me when I am not thinking Maybe someone who reads this poem will know They would have been through it They would have had their own word And they would have worked it out And maybe they would be happy With their own one word