Terry Flood Poet Lyric

Once That Rascal David Bit Me - Parody

A parody of ‘Once In Royal David’s City’

Once that rascal, David bit me
On a mattress in a shed
Nine months on I had a baby
And my dad said David’s dead
My mum went completely wild
Jesus Christ, you’ve had a child

David was no gift from heaven
He was not much good at all
In fact he was barely able
Two quick thrusts and that was all
But that poor obsessed boy told me
I think this condom was holey

Now I’m tied, I have to see him
Through his brief but screaming love
But my child, alone and gentle
From just thirty seconds lust
So I led young David on
And now I am five months gone

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Lindsay Laurie December 9, 2021 at 5:06 PM G'day Terry ... you've just got to be a hit at a pub night. A chuckle right throughout Terry - Lindsay Terry Flood December 9, 2021 at 5:15 PM Blimey, Lindsay… after two years of covid… what’s a ‘pub night’? Seriously, glad you enjoyed. Terry

Jack Horne December 8, 2021 at 6:55 AM LOL, enjoyed this fun write Terry Flood December 8, 2021 at 7:36 AM Thanks, Jack. Terry

David Kavanagh December 7, 2021 at 10:44 AM Yeah being David is awesome Terry, get our rocks off with two thrusts and knock them up pretty good in the process, great fun write and parody, cheers David Terry Flood December 7, 2021 at 10:53 AM I would never cast such nasturtiums, David. But glad you enjoyed your five minutes of fame. Terry

Tom Cunningham December 7, 2021 at 6:28 AM Lol, you'll be going Carol singing then. Tom Terry Flood December 7, 2021 at 7:08 AM Yeah, with the ally cats. Glad you enjoyed, Tom. Terry

L Milton Hankins December 7, 2021 at 4:52 AM Oh, Terry, this is soooo funny, but somehow I don't think it's what Gina had in mind. I can't really imagine hearing this sung in a Christmas program. I'm still laughing, while I wish you the best in the contest. You are such a delight! L Milton Hankins December 7, 2021 at 1:16 PM Oh, Terry, please leave the poem up, though. It is soooo funny and worth the read. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I think others will, too. Terry Flood December 7, 2021 at 7:15 AM I don’t read truly religious poems as I wouldn’t feel qualified to judge them… anyway, I just did what I shoulda just did and perused the content of some of Gina’s poems… I think you’re quite likely spot on the money. So I’m gonna withdraw from the contest in good Grace rather than cause any offence. Thanks for the nod, Milt. Terry Terry Flood December 7, 2021 at 7:07 AM I took my lead from her words, ‘Have fun, after all, it is Christmas.’ I’ll see what else gets posted and if I’ve misjudged the mood maybe I’ll withdraw it so someone else can have a go. Glad you liked though. Terry