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On Etiquette

Here is a poem on etiquette, about which
   I barely know the subject from the predicate

It seems to me that etiquette's all stuffy
   It's for royalty's ilk, haughty and puffy
Who the hell cares how you hold your fork
   One way for fish, another for pork

Of course, eating soup's a precarious matter
   Make sure not one drop is carelessly splattered
As for zupping up the dregs straight from the bowl
   That faux pas will land you in etiquette gaol

Then there's the matter of how to drink tea
   Proper form being, up with one's pinky
And effeminate gentlemen tuck in their napkins
   When carving a bird with all the trappings

Well, I hope you've enjoyed this sacrilegious romp
   Dripping with sincerity, and a dearth of pomp
And now that I have etiquette happily hammered
   I leave it to you to lambaste English grammar

Copyright © Gershon Wolf | Year Posted 2019

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Caren Krutsinger Date: 8/21/2019 12:36:00 AM " It's for royalty's ilk, haughty and puffy" - true, true, true, true, true or for the bridge club ladies once a month. Login to Reply Gershon Wolf Date: 8/21/2019 9:17:00 AM … And Wimbledon, perhaps! :) gw

Sandra Adams Date: 8/20/2019 5:36:00 AM Glad I wasn’t brought up this way, though I must admit as a child I tried to hold my pinky out ... give me one fork one spoon and a knife and I am good! Cute poem, I always look forward to reading your words. You often make me laugh. Thanks for that :) hugs Login to Reply Gershon Wolf Date: 8/20/2019 8:37:00 AM Glad you laughed at this one. I was chuckling as I was writing and revising it, which doesn't often happen. Sandy, your support is a real boost to my (occasionally flagging) spirits. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Gershon

Jennifer Proxenos Date: 8/20/2019 1:22:00 AM No need to lambaste your English grammar Gershon and your poem speaks of only the truth so kudu's for this write! However if we are to speak of the English language, that needs a great deal of understanding, especially it's grammer! Hugs, Jennifer. Login to Reply Gershon Wolf Date: 8/20/2019 8:34:00 AM Thank you for providing a slight opening with which to comment on your comment, Jennifer. Did you notice that you wrote, 'especially it's grammer!' You probably did, but just in case you were hurrying to finish the comment, your critique of grammar should end this way -- 'especially its grammar.' Thanks for the chuckle, my dear friend. :) gw