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Odder Than Odd Itself

Where did you go?
I want you to know
That I love you so, 
But I got to get up and roam
Due to being far from home 

Oh, I hear them...and feel them...

I hear the echoes of silence
Underneath my withering skin
I trace it all away...I pray
I will will it all away today

I wonder in shining displeasure 

Don't desert me
Don't just leave it all behind
You don't deserve it
You're a word I cannot find

I smell the smoke of anguish 
I want to will it all away
I smell the blood on your hands... it's fishy, but do what you wish

Well, that was odder than expected

I roam in a world I know not of
Fell asleep on the bench of love
Wishing for words of pure wisdom 
Wishing for His upcoming Kingdom 

I am an empty bone 
In a wasteland unknown

I hear you in the claws of the meadows
I can even feel you, crawling in the shadows
Tasted the fury on my tongue of poetic prose
Above the wreckage appears to lie a wilted rose

I smell the aroma of avarice's angst 
I gave up my life for you without a thanks!
You're welcome to your selfish silence
You're welcome to your utter ignorance 

Hate this desire that is fire beneath my skin 
There's this certain coldness I feel once again
Alone and on my own in the wilderness of woes and lies
Unknown chaos got us caught up in this rut of goodbyes

Envy wraps around my neck 
It tries to hurt me, I, the wreck
For its sick pleasure and sake...
This nightmare will vanish, but will I awake?

No where to flee
Just chase to the cut -
We need to be free
From this heartless rut

I wish I could simply bid
These woes a farewell 
Wondering where you hid
Perhaps in your lone cell

Tired of being a deflated baloon
Be gone by the time it's afternoon 
Soon, you'll belong somewhere new like a traveling fish in a lagoon
Away from my delightful tune... don't be as bitter as a dried-up prune

Can't you taste it?
The vanities and lies and a faith that dries
That twist and turn as it sees fit?
Dry off your tears, rolling off your eyes 

I revealed my reality to you
My dear, this, I did so true
Yet, you don't believe me one bit
Well, there's no use, throwing a fit

Where did you end up at?
You're the cat that chased off the rat
Like it or not, I'm not coming back
Unless I change my mind and get on track

Can't fathom
What I've become
Harmless and shapeless
Regardless of your shameless...
Darksome distress 
That leaves me breathless -
Your emptiness...
Your gravity of worry
Brought me down...
Weighed me down...
You don't seem to care
I frown and smile as I dare

Something's missing
Beyond these cold-stone walls
I've lost it all, kissing
Your echoes of unspoked calls

Can't sugarcoat this regret...that piles up like debt 
You were mine just before you jaded me
You were in town with my hopeful, friendly outlet 
I won't let inner ugliness ruin my beauty 

That's odd that you let me down so easily
That's odd that you painted me a frown
That's as odd as a toad in the sky frankly
Also, like a bird in the water, way down 

Hope our time doesn't come to waste
Fingers crossed that happiness within 
Doesn't arrive undone in a horrid haste
If that was so, my hopes are paper-thin 

Wait, hold on for a while...move on...till you can no longer move on 
I'll fight the urge to cry when we see each other 
Sending all these mindless sheep to the slaughter dusk to dawn 
My daily muses backstabs me unlike any other

I'm stronger than a few years back 
There's so much in us that we lack
Echo words of empathy,
But it's not enough sadly...

I understand where you're coming from
But, I must roam home before I grow numb
Insecure in vain, I got to catch my train to leave temporarily 
Forever frozen in fate's fatality, but that's my scary reality

I wish I was that someone, not me
You hope I'd be done, spiralling in sunshine's rays of no-worry
Well, I'm not done
So, get over it, hon

And I'm so done searching for you endlessly
I just wanted you to know you're on your own
Love you, but not the things you do thoughtlessly 
I already arrived home to my relief, never alone

I will cast away your pain in your brain that is an insane rain, opposite of a craving you can't abstain - it is but a small grain or an unnoticeable stain...or a single raindrop, going down the drain...

Well, that's something far from unknown
A mystery solved, a well-fixed backbone 
I keep on praying for you to heal up fast
God will mend and forgive your past
It will be hard to forget, but it won't last...

Where have you been? 
Have you gone again?
Can't stand being left alone
Deserted and on my own
Yes, I can be odder than odd itself
I encourage you to just be yourself
But, no one promised it was going to be easy
Sorry if I'm coming across as being cheesy

Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2018

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