Obscurity

layers of fog             

                                            blanket the bayou

                                              obscuring vision

                                          the pungency of decay

                                            assaults my senses

3/17/15
For Andrea's Tanka 2 contest
6th place
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Staton Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 6:28 AM
Nicely done! Wonderful imagery.
K. Avatar
March 29, 2015 at 4:51 AM
This is definitely a tanka that made me wonder upon reading the last 2 lines-- shrouded with mystery with what could be decaying, and why? Corpses maybe? Of whom and what causes? A very intriguing and eerie write, congrats on your win!
Callus Avatar
March 24, 2015 at 10:29 AM
Your appeal to the senses is apparent in a most striking and positive way, Kim. Lovely Tanka #7...and congrats on a very worthy win. // paul
A   Avatar
March 22, 2015 at 1:56 PM
KIM, Congratulations on your awesome TANKA 2 win Always & Forever <3 Luv ~LINDA~
Dietrich Avatar
March 21, 2015 at 9:28 PM
Some great images of sight and smell here. Congrats for your win, Kim.
Johnson-Saunders Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 9:41 PM
Wow, you have created a foggy image and a powerful thought of what's unseen! Best wishes in Andrea's contest...hugs, Rhonda
Merryman Avatar
March 21, 2015 at 7:49 PM
Thank you, Rhonda, for your encouraging words!
Shaw Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 8:34 PM
Hi Kim! I really enjoyed this very unique Tanka. Very well done! Good luck with the contest. Hugs, Kimberly xx
Merryman Avatar
March 21, 2015 at 7:47 PM
Thank you, Kimberly. I'm glad you liked it!
Marcum Wong Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 8:04 PM
Kim, You took this Tanka into a place of mystery and I loved it! I hope Andrea will too! 7
Merryman Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 8:13 PM
Thank you, Connie! I'm glad you liked it!
Haight Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 9:40 AM
A very nice Tanka, Kim. Great imagery and definitely an emotional turn in the last two lines. Best wishes for the contest. Sandra
Merryman Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 8:07 PM
Sorry about that, Sandra. I hit the wrong reply button when responding to Sara. Thank you for your encouraging comment. I appreciate it!
Merryman Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 8:05 PM
Thank you, Sara! We don't have a paper mill near here so it smells more swampy.
Kendrick Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 7:01 AM
Enjoyed reading this one today..Good descriptive work..I wonder does the bayou have the swamp or paper mill scent of the swamp and coast here?..Thanks for the visit..Sara
Merryman Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 8:10 PM
I accidently posted my reply to you under Sandra's comment. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, Sara. We don't have a paper mill nearby so it smells more swampy.
Smith Avatar
March 17, 2015 at 11:54 PM
Very nice Kim...like the twist....Tim
Merryman Avatar
March 18, 2015 at 8:04 PM
Thanks, Tim!
Bauer Avatar
March 17, 2015 at 8:37 PM
nice one, kim! i can actually smell this!
Merryman Avatar
March 17, 2015 at 9:21 PM
Thank you, Ilene! I appreciate you stopping by!.
Pinet Avatar
March 17, 2015 at 7:07 PM
Good use of word choices to draw the reader into your story. It's original and has a pleasant flow in it's pace. Emile.
Merryman Avatar
March 17, 2015 at 9:20 PM
Thank you, Emile, for your encouraging words!
Leiser Avatar
March 17, 2015 at 6:10 PM
This is a great Tanka poem, Kim! Great imagery :)
Merryman Avatar
March 17, 2015 at 9:19 PM
Thank you, Laura! Glad you like it.
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