Nowadays

Eating grapes on the vine while being carried was once a prime example of hedonism. Only a king could live like that, some fat guy with a crown of laurels, a real Julius Caesar type. In my room, the storage spaces are as empty as the amount of dirty laundry scattered about the floor is large. On my desk: assignments, old plays, empty notebooks, drug paraphernalia, music ranging from blues to punk in formats ranging from cd to record, pills with my name on em’, a black wool cap with holes in it, a 10’ TV I never got working, and my glass chess set is broken on the ground beneath. In the kitchen, I run my finger lightly down my granite counter tops that dad bought me creating a large mass of ash on my nail. I blow what I can into the atmosphere and save the rest for waking up tomorrow. In my fridge, I hold milk and a large suckling pig with an apple in its mouth. Occasionally I will bathe the pig in the milk if that wasn't obvious. A pig is good and all but I would never eat a whole pig. I throw out the leftovers. In my freezer, I have TV dinners stacked to the brim. All kinds I’m sure. I like TV dinners because even though you gotta heat em’ up, they last forever, and they come with a tray. You don’t have to use a paper plate. You still have to use plastic utensils though. I kind of consider myself a foodie, I will eat a limb straight off of a living creature if I see one large enough. And what am I but a typical American, college grunt.