Notes of a Suicide

Before I start this I want you all to know It was never your fault. Mum and Dad. I just want to say how sorry I am. The grief I’m putting you through. It’ll get better. I love you both. I wish we could have held each other. I wish we could have cried together. I wish I could have said thank you. My sister. My baby sister. Everything will be ok. I know you’re scared. Don’t worry, I’ll be there when ever you need me. Don’t let them take you. Always be true to yourself. I love you. My brother. By the time you can read this. The memory of me Will only be in those photo albums That no one looks at In the cupboard. But I always want you to know I never meant it When I yelled. You’ll always be my little baby The one I told everything. Don’t worry. I’ll forgive you If you forget me. But I’ll never forget you. My best friends. I know you won’t forgive me. I know you didn’t see it coming. No matter what happens. You’re not alone. You never have been. I’ll always be here even if I am gone. I don’t ever think I told you That you’re my best friends. I know I have no right to ask But I need you to do something Take care Everything will turn out alright. I know it will. Remember All those times we laughed. Remember There will always be something to laugh about. I won’t say I’m in a better place. I will say One day. One day. We’ll walk home again. My love. I hope this message gets to you. Don’t blame anyone. Don’t blame yourself. If you have to blame anyone Blame me. Those times We spent hiding our love Don’t forget them. I never told you how much I loved you. How much I still love you. I want you to know It’s ok to cry. I want you to hold me That one last time And press your lips on mine. I’ll feel a tear wet my face. And I’ll tell you its ok. That there’s nothing to be afraid of. One day, Again. We’ll find each other. I’ll always be waiting for you The drops of rain Slowly running down my face My trembling hands will always reach for you. You’ll always be close. I’ll always be yours. For all of you Who ask why I did it. When I look in the mirror And see a face that isn’t mine. That isn’t me. And once you feel this. You’ll know why I did this. You’ll know why I couldn’t live. At the end. I’m sorry I have nothing left to give.