Not Myself and All Alone

The only peace in life I have, is when I'm deep in sleep. If I die before I wake, will my soul He keep. Enjoyment now is only found in recall from a dream, when I am not myself, and things are not the way they seem. Where has joy gone? Is it buried somewhere in my past? It still appears, then quickly fades, never does it ever last. My world keeps turning a deeper, darker shade of gray. Life eats away the one I was, erasing all my yesterday. And where has love gone, the catalyst of my joy. I can't remember when it died, was it back when I was just a boy? My life is numbered with wasted time, hours, days, and years. All my friends have run away, identity just seems to disappear. I still keep searching inside myself, trying to find my lost soul. To put myself back together, before I lose all control. "Help me, someone help me",my world is being painted black. My past is gone but I keep reaching, trying to pull it back. People come, people go, they say "hi, you remember me". "I'm your sister, I'm your brother", adding to my agony. But then I see them as they were, and tears begin to flow. Part of me has returned, I'm still a standing domino. At times I know the road I'm on, and it shakes me to my bone. Soon I'll be left out in the dark, not myself and all alone.