Not a Serious Discussion of Doctrine

"Does god take a daily shytte?" "Of course not." "But I thought god could do anything." "He can." "Even take a shytte?" "I suppose so." "Would it be magic shytte? Should I rub it on my body?" "I don't know." "If he was a goddess he could've given birth to the universe, but since he's a guy, maybe the universe is god's shytte." "Maybe." "So that's your doctrine? God shytte the world? That WOULD explain a lot. You're shytte, I'm shytte, the whole world is shytte." "That's not my doctrine." "But Jesus had to shytte didn't he?" "When god became a man he had to shytte, yes." "I bet THAT was some magical shytte. I seem to recall an Arabic Christian legend of people begging Mary for baby Jesus's dirty diapers and they smeared his gooey pooey all over themselves to cure leprosy and the pox." "I suppose his shytte WOULD have to be miraculous." "Yah you betcha, magic shytte, that's what religion's all about!"