Nostalgic grief with relief

I miss the days of mine I miss the old me which used to shine Like a star with unrelenting light But now I love the darkness of night That old excitement of occasions That large happiness in little things And the pride in all my possessions Made me felt like I had wings I miss myself while caring a lot Though aspersion was only something which I got And so i preferred to change Which resulted in seeing everyone's behavior so strange My new version is not the worse though They might call it toxic but the truth is something which only I know Inspite of all besmirch, my actions are still slow Contributing in controlling my rage from being able to grow 'Peace over drama'is not only my aim to show But also my wish exists to throw That classics which have hindered my dreams That fear of revealing my screams Is no more alive Just because I chose to live and not only survive! And also because I preferred change in order to live Live in way far more than better to survive Cause it's only one life to apologize and rise! One life to establish that home also called paradise And when tragedy of life comes near It's one life to end with goodbyes!