No Screw Ups

I sometimes have job opportunities with very great benefits and incomes, and I'm often approached more times than none by various unemployed victims, who ask me if I can do anything for them to get them accepted into my livelihood and membership of my very great union. Before obligating myself to any of them, I'll look straight into the eyes of each and every one of them, "Heed my words strongly," I then say to all of them. "I don't take kindly to being interrupted or for myself to be repeating. Are you willing to risk screwing up my good reputation by screwing up regularly if I recommend you to be accepted into my very great union? If you're a screw up and will screw up, please save me the aggravation, because you will have then screwed up permanently my good reputation. My superiors will never trust another one of my recommendations that could have helped a deserving family in need had I recommended them. So again, if you're a screw up and will screw up, please save me the aggravation, because when you screw up with me, I'll have to kill you sadly, and on that issue I am never joking." Needless to say I get few applicants asking for my recommendation, but the ones I do recommend become the very best at performing their profession.