No Remorse

I remember the party, I went to last fall.
I never planned, to live through it all.
I did not want, to be alive.
And this was not, suicide.
I would blame it on alcohol, blame it all on beer.
But my plan did not happen that way, just as I had feared.
I had planned to drink a lot that night, and then “accidentally” die.
It did not happen that way, and I can’t explain why.
After the party, I went to my car.
I had done my best, to drink the whole bar.
I laid my head on the steering wheel, and began to cry.
I wasn’t sure, it was my time to die.
You see, I was in such a daze.
I didn’t even notice, the two past-out stowaways.
With no regret, I put the key in.
Then started the car, let the party begin.
I backed out of the lot, with a quickening pace.
I was close to death, so close I could taste.
I put the car in gear, stopped and thought some more.
Why was I here? What was I doing this for?
I decided to put the thoughts, out of my mind.
I was thinking too much, and falling behind.
I gripped the wheel tightly, and stepped on the pedal.
As the car gained speed, I turned on some heavy metal.
I noticed a little girl, who was right in my way.
What was she doing? Why was she out so late?
I tried to turn, but then lost control.
All that alcohol, began to take its toll.
The car flipped, and went spiraling down.
I lost all consciousness, when we hit the ground.
When I came to, I felt no pain.
Had the whole thing, all been in vain?
Or maybe I was gone, I had already died.
And then I looked back, where my passengers lied.
From the moment I saw them, I knew they were dead.
I could tell by the blood, that ran down their heads.
I thought to myself, Why? Why? Why?
They weren’t supposed to be here, they weren’t meant to die.
I couldn’t kill myself, I had decided.
I had tried my best, and still been denied it.
I got out of the car, I was all alone.
With no remorse, I walked towards home.

Copyright © Joseph Searcy | Year Posted 2007

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