No More Time For Goodbye
What were you thinking when the lights went out?
You closed your eyes; breathed your last breath,
Was it me you were wondering and worried about?
Did you finally find peace when at last you found death?
Fate can be cruel and I didn't know
How someone so loving and kind
Could endure so much pain of the body and soul
And that soon you would leave me behind.
A part of me wanted to run and to hide
And get just as far away as I could
But love held me back even though I had tried
To make that decision between bad and good.
I wanted to stay with you till you were gone
Since I knew you would do that for me.
You brought me into this world all alone,
So I knew by your side I should be.
You gave me life; I was your little girl,
And you loved me with no room for doubt.
I had your help coming into this world,
So I knew that I must help you out.
You never gave up and you never gave in
To the fear that I knew was inside.
I held you, dear Mother right up till the end,
Then laid down beside you and cried.
I knew you were gone even though I held tight
To the hope that you were just sleeping,
I lay on your bed with you praying you might
Just wake up when you heard me start weeping.
How could you be with me,and then gone away?
In an instant, you just disappeared.
I wanted to hold you and beg you to stay.
Like a child, I was so filled with fear.
"Mommy, don't go" my heart cried out to you;
"I need you, don't leave me alone!"
I said those same words on my 1st day of school;
Still remembered, long after I'm grown.
Alone in a world with no Mom and Dad,
How could I survive in this place?
I remembered the times as a child I'd been bad
And the hurt mixed with love on your face.
I know in my heart that there never will be
A love that compares to a Mother's.
I took it for granted; I just couldn't see...
And I tried to replace it with others.
I think that she watches me from up above
Just to make sure I'm doing alright.
Sometimes I can sense her and I feel her love
Like a candle still burning so bright.
She watches me, guides me and helps me to grow
Like she'd do if she were still living.
From her vantage point up in Heaven she knows
All the roadblocks and detours God's giving.
There are so many things about her I miss
Though I know she looks down from above.
Her shining blue eyes, her smile and her kiss;
But what I miss most, is her LOVE.
Copyright © Cathy Martin | Year Posted 2011
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