Nightmares and Razor Blades

I stare at my ceiling,
I start to wonder, why am I not healing?
Then it dawns on me,
The nightmare clip starts to roll.
I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing.
I'm scared to death, 
What does this all mean?
I start to cry,
I feel as if I might die.
Then I grab my blade, 
The tears come quicker.
My breath starts to quicken,
My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white.
In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red.
I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough."
So I try my best not to make a sound 
As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me. 
I count to three,
One, 
I put the blade to my wrist.
Two,
I start to add pressure.
Three,
I yank the blade across my skin,
It pierces and then I start to bleed.
I suddenly want it to stop, 
But there's no going back now. 
I wonder why it came to this,
I know nobody cares about me,
I know nobody is going to forget me.
Quietly I say, "I'm sorry."
But nobody is there,
No one will ever be.
I start to fade out of this world,
My addiction would finally be gone,
And so would I.
I was lost, 
Lost and angry. 
Suddenly, it was gone,
I woke up screaming.
The pain was oh-so real.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013



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Date: 1/27/2015 8:55:00 AM
Very, very, nice poem. :)
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Date: 11/10/2013 2:07:00 PM
Very nice... Terry
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Date: 10/15/2013 8:57:00 PM
Mackenzie, Your first poem on the soup is excellent for the readers!! Stopping by with a nice, sweet Welcome to Poetry Soup. Wishing you the best when it comes to your poems. I hope you get to meet all the nice poets around here. Starting with me. SKAT :-) Please drop a hello and tell me a little about yourself if you like. I would like to be your newest poetry soup "FRIEND". Hugs* SKAT
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Date: 10/14/2013 8:34:00 PM
Wow.. this is pretty good. Love the poem and the title. Welcome To Poetry Soup
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Date: 10/14/2013 4:25:00 PM
ps...this has been one of the best poems I've read today. .adding to my favorite poem list. hope you post more soon. ..luv...linda
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Date: 10/14/2013 4:16:00 PM
wow, wow. wow, what a poem...love the dark imagery, A nice warm WELCOME to poetry soup. Dropping by to invite you to my latest contest. You will find the contest page on the top left hand side* -Looking forward in following and reading your poetry. Hope to hear from you soon. You will enjoy the community, we are one big happy family. (Drama & Love. LOL) ~ Take Care!! From: your new poet friend @-> LINDA <-@
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Date: 10/14/2013 4:12:00 PM
Welcome to P-Soup, Mackenzie! - Nice to read your first poem here. - Hope you will have much pleasure to be with us. - Wishing you good luck - have a nice day! - Comment on the poetry of others and they will comment on yours. - My first greeting to you from Norway / / / Anne-Lise :)
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