Nightmares and Razor Blades

I stare at my ceiling, I start to wonder, why am I not healing? Then it dawns on me, The nightmare clip starts to roll. I shake and shiver and wince at every little thing. I'm scared to death, What does this all mean? I start to cry, I feel as if I might die. Then I grab my blade, The tears come quicker. My breath starts to quicken, My grip on the blade makes my knuckles turn white. In the mirror is where I see that my ivory skin is now blotchy and red. I tell myself, "This may be the last time, if you finally cut deep enough." So I try my best not to make a sound As I sit up in bed and hold my wrist out in front of me. I count to three, One, I put the blade to my wrist. Two, I start to add pressure. Three, I yank the blade across my skin, It pierces and then I start to bleed. I suddenly want it to stop, But there's no going back now. I wonder why it came to this, I know nobody cares about me, I know nobody is going to forget me. Quietly I say, "I'm sorry." But nobody is there, No one will ever be. I start to fade out of this world, My addiction would finally be gone, And so would I. I was lost, Lost and angry. Suddenly, it was gone, I woke up screaming. The pain was oh-so real.