Nightmares

I've had my fair share of nightmares, traumas and ghosts But the latter one is which hinders me the most Ghosts of the future, the present and ghosts from the past Ghosts that by now, their haunting it should not last Most of them are invisible and are hard for me to see But despite all that they cripple and bind me The pain intensifies, the loneliness still surrounds I cry invisible tears because there's no one around I'll smile and say yes that things are grand but deep down inside I'm dying in the quick sand I retrace my steps, take a look at my past To try to understand how this loneliness amassed When I was younger I wouldn't have imagined this my state I would have argued the decision and put forward my debate They say weeping may endure for a night, joy comes in the morning But all I get after a restless night, is more despair with no warning I pray for a change, but doubt steps in and wipes my hopes away I allowed my fear to break me down like some rotten clay The frustration, the nausea, the lack of self-belief Has left me feeling, I suppose emotionally weak But yet day after day when I think I won’t survive My heart is still beating and my eyes glimpse a new day that’s arrived I'm always being told that I'm strong and my valley I can face And that important achievements I gain I deem as commonplace Instead of walking by faith, I chose to walk by sight I didn't trust in God’s power, I chose to trust my own might I decided didn’t need my spiritual armour, to the battle I went bare And as for the two edged sword, when I looked in my hand it wasn’t there Instead of being the head, I suddenly became the tail Then I wonder why sometimes my problems they still prevail I’m told I am above, yet I chose to live beneath And to the Lord my situation I did not bequeath Yes I’ve had my fair share of nightmares, traumas and ghosts As the future approaches, living in the past you can see me float