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Notes About The Poem

Published: 29th July 2021

Image by gR

This poem was placed 1st in the "A STRAND (1045)" contest sponsored by Brian Strand (Judged 2nd February 2022)

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Night Air

above the metronomic constant dripping of a tap

and the deep and heavy ticking of an old grandfather clock

sounds seeped through a window where the night air found a gap:

a cough!

 - then silence. 

..then a key inside a lock.

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Sara Kendrick Date: 4/3/2025 11:42:00 AM Awesome work on the winners' list. Congratulations on your win. Way to go. Sara K Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 4/4/2025 10:23:00 AM Sara, thanks so much for your visit. Read you soon. Cheers - Gary

thriveni c mysore Date: 4/2/2025 7:45:00 PM who was inside, what happened next, oh! this would make great opening to a bestselling detective novel dear poet! electrical! Congratulations on your win dear poet. Cheers!!! Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 4/3/2025 2:53:00 AM Hi Thriveni. I eventually decided with this poem that it should be a case of ‘less is more’ and allow the reader to come to their own conclusions. I like your idea that it could be an opening to a detective novel. Thank you. Cheers - Gary

David Smith Date: 4/6/2022 5:00:00 AM You managed to charge the atmosphere with just a few lines. Smooth tempo. Regards David in NZ Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 4/7/2022 3:42:00 AM Thanks for the great comment David. Appreciated. Cheers - Gary

Paula Goldsmith Date: 1/4/2022 11:36:00 AM Congratulations on your win with your "Night Air" write. Have a blessed day and New Year............... Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 1/4/2022 12:33:00 PM Thank you Paula! :) All the best to you too. Cheers - Gary

Susan Ashley Date: 10/10/2021 5:23:00 PM Dear Gary, your wonderful poem is intriguing from the enticing title to the last riveting line! Less is more for sure! Congratulations for your excellent win in in Line's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 10/11/2021 12:49:00 AM Thank you Susan for your lovely comments. Cheers - Gary

Ann Peck Date: 8/11/2021 2:17:00 PM Interesting last lines! I read your comments about pursuing or keeping it as is. I vote for keeping. It adds suspense to the comforting words. :o Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/12/2021 12:47:00 AM Hi Ann. Thanks for reading. I'm inclined to agree and am leaving it as it is. Less is more. Cheers - Gary

Geoffrey Brewer Date: 8/5/2021 7:17:00 PM Calming sounds and words - and then the frisson of the final line. Striking effect conveyed in few words.Well done, Gary. Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/6/2021 1:38:00 AM Hi Geoffrey! I'm in two minds whether to write another part to this or just leave it as it is. I'm leaning towards the latter. Whatever I decide, thanks so much for your continued support by way of your comments. Much appreciated. Cheers - Gary

Geoffrey Brewer Date: 8/5/2021 7:16:00 PM Calming sounds and words - and then the frisson of the final line. Striking effect conveyed in few words.Well done, Gary. Login to Reply

Christopher Flaherty Date: 8/5/2021 2:19:00 PM Strange Gary what appears or seems noise to country folk is cathartic to city folk and induces sleep And so to the reverse likewise applies to city folk as noise is what induces sleep in country folk Each to own depends on the surroundings you are accustomed to My Nana used to have a mantle piece clock that seemed to break the sound barrier at night Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/6/2021 1:34:00 AM Hi Christopher. Funny you should mention the clock at your nan's. This clock and this dripping tap is based on the sounds I remember hearing as a kid when staying with my nan. :) Cheers and thanks - Gary

David Smith Date: 8/5/2021 1:25:00 PM Sounds can give such reassurance most of the time. You have taken your talent to a new level with this one Gary. If poetry equated to an Olympic sport I think it would be pole vaulting. Regards David. Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/6/2021 1:31:00 AM Thank you David :) The bar is set very high here at Poetry Soup with all the excellent poetry so that is praise indeed. Much appreciated. Cheers - Gary

Sam Kauffman Date: 8/2/2021 1:33:00 PM Ohhh Gary, I can see and hear all your night sounds. Love the sound effects - makes the poem work on another level! Congratulations on your win! ATB Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/2/2021 2:17:00 PM Thanks Sam. The win came as a nice surprise. I did see your Summer Gems there though so congrats and AT Best to you too! :)

Joanna Daniel Date: 8/1/2021 11:10:00 PM Very nice, Gary, love the sound effects too, congratulations on your win:) Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/1/2021 11:23:00 PM Thanks Jo. I wasn't sure if the sound would detract but I eventually convinced myself it complimented the words. I'm glad you like both poem and sound. Cheers - Gary

Marilene Evans Date: 8/1/2021 11:12:00 AM Congratulations. Nicely done. Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/1/2021 12:16:00 PM Thank you Marilene. It was a nice surprise to be placed in Line's contest. Cheers - Gary

Christuraj Alex Date: 8/1/2021 6:33:00 AM Beautiful Bite. Congratulations on your win! Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 8/1/2021 7:15:00 AM Thank you Christuraj!

Harry Horsman Date: 7/30/2021 7:34:00 PM Wow this takes the mind on a journey, the imagination is on busy street. Love it. Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 7/30/2021 11:46:00 PM Thank you Harry. Praise indeed. I appreciate your comments. Cheers - Gary

Tom Cunningham Date: 7/29/2021 11:53:00 AM Quite a forboding write Gary, like a scene from a mystery and suspense film. Tom Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 7/29/2021 12:30:00 PM Thanks Tom..yes..I thought I'd have a go at writing something a little different. Cheers - Gary

L Milton Hankins Date: 7/29/2021 8:23:00 AM So...where do I go from here? Gary. I thought burglar, but a burglar wouldn't have a key! Someone's inside; someone's at the door. Hmmmm.....So, you did this on purpose, didn't you! Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 7/29/2021 9:06:00 AM Hi Milt! Yes, I left it open to the reader's imagination. Sometimes, with my poems, less is more. :) Cheers - Gary

Terry Flood Date: 7/29/2021 7:34:00 AM So now I’m gonna spend the day wondering if I’m hiding behind the sofa or sitting by the door wagging my tail and looking forward to my Woofy mix. And just as I think I’ve sussed it, I think aha, someone’s coming home to an empty house. So you’ve got at least one of us pondering...And I bet that just what you intended. Terry Login to Reply Gary Radice Date: 7/29/2021 7:37:00 AM In one Mister Flood. :)