Notes About The Poem

Published: 29th July 2021

Image: gR

This poem was placed 1st in the "A STRAND (1045)" contest sponsored by Brian Strand (Judged 2nd February 2022)


Night Air

above the metronomic constant dripping of a tap

and the deep and heavy ticking of an old grandfather clock

sounds seeped through a window where the night air found a gap:

a cough!

 - then silence. 

..then a key inside a lock.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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Kendrick Avatar
April 3, 2025 at 11:42 AM
Awesome work on the winners' list. Congratulations on your win. Way to go. Sara K
Radice Avatar
April 4, 2025 at 10:23 AM
Sara, thanks so much for your visit. Read you soon. Cheers - Gary
mysore Avatar
April 2, 2025 at 7:45 PM
who was inside, what happened next, oh! this would make great opening to a bestselling detective novel dear poet! electrical! Congratulations on your win dear poet. Cheers!!!
Radice Avatar
April 3, 2025 at 2:53 AM
Hi Thriveni. I eventually decided with this poem that it should be a case of ‘less is more’ and allow the reader to come to their own conclusions. I like your idea that it could be an opening to a detective novel. Thank you. Cheers - Gary
Smith Avatar
April 6, 2022 at 5:00 AM
You managed to charge the atmosphere with just a few lines. Smooth tempo. Regards David in NZ
Radice Avatar
April 7, 2022 at 3:42 AM
Thanks for the great comment David. Appreciated. Cheers - Gary
Goldsmith Avatar
January 4, 2022 at 11:36 AM
Congratulations on your win with your "Night Air" write. Have a blessed day and New Year...............
Radice Avatar
January 4, 2022 at 12:33 PM
Thank you Paula! :) All the best to you too. Cheers - Gary
Ashley Avatar
October 10, 2021 at 5:23 PM
Dear Gary, your wonderful poem is intriguing from the enticing title to the last riveting line! Less is more for sure! Congratulations for your excellent win in in Line's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Radice Avatar
October 11, 2021 at 12:49 AM
Thank you Susan for your lovely comments. Cheers - Gary
Peck Avatar
August 11, 2021 at 2:17 PM
Interesting last lines! I read your comments about pursuing or keeping it as is. I vote for keeping. It adds suspense to the comforting words. :o
Radice Avatar
August 12, 2021 at 12:47 AM
Hi Ann. Thanks for reading. I'm inclined to agree and am leaving it as it is. Less is more. Cheers - Gary
Brewer Avatar
August 5, 2021 at 7:17 PM
Calming sounds and words - and then the frisson of the final line. Striking effect conveyed in few words.Well done, Gary.
Radice Avatar
August 6, 2021 at 1:38 AM
Hi Geoffrey! I'm in two minds whether to write another part to this or just leave it as it is. I'm leaning towards the latter. Whatever I decide, thanks so much for your continued support by way of your comments. Much appreciated. Cheers - Gary
Brewer Avatar
August 5, 2021 at 7:16 PM
Calming sounds and words - and then the frisson of the final line. Striking effect conveyed in few words.Well done, Gary.
Flaherty Avatar
August 5, 2021 at 2:19 PM
Strange Gary what appears or seems noise to country folk is cathartic to city folk and induces sleep And so to the reverse likewise applies to city folk as noise is what induces sleep in country folk Each to own depends on the surroundings you are accustomed to My Nana used to have a mantle piece clock that seemed to break the sound barrier at night
Radice Avatar
August 6, 2021 at 1:34 AM
Hi Christopher. Funny you should mention the clock at your nan's. This clock and this dripping tap is based on the sounds I remember hearing as a kid when staying with my nan. :) Cheers and thanks - Gary
Smith Avatar
August 5, 2021 at 1:25 PM
Sounds can give such reassurance most of the time. You have taken your talent to a new level with this one Gary. If poetry equated to an Olympic sport I think it would be pole vaulting. Regards David.
Radice Avatar
August 6, 2021 at 1:31 AM
Thank you David :) The bar is set very high here at Poetry Soup with all the excellent poetry so that is praise indeed. Much appreciated. Cheers - Gary
Kauffman Avatar
August 2, 2021 at 1:33 PM
Ohhh Gary, I can see and hear all your night sounds. Love the sound effects - makes the poem work on another level! Congratulations on your win! ATB
Radice Avatar
August 2, 2021 at 2:17 PM
Thanks Sam. The win came as a nice surprise. I did see your Summer Gems there though so congrats and AT Best to you too! :)
Daniel Avatar
August 1, 2021 at 11:10 PM
Very nice, Gary, love the sound effects too, congratulations on your win:)
Radice Avatar
August 1, 2021 at 11:23 PM
Thanks Jo. I wasn't sure if the sound would detract but I eventually convinced myself it complimented the words. I'm glad you like both poem and sound. Cheers - Gary
Evans Avatar
August 1, 2021 at 11:12 AM
Congratulations. Nicely done.
Radice Avatar
August 1, 2021 at 12:16 PM
Thank you Marilene. It was a nice surprise to be placed in Line's contest. Cheers - Gary
Alex Avatar
August 1, 2021 at 6:33 AM
Beautiful Bite. Congratulations on your win!
Radice Avatar
August 1, 2021 at 7:15 AM
Thank you Christuraj!
Horsman Avatar
July 30, 2021 at 7:34 PM
Wow this takes the mind on a journey, the imagination is on busy street. Love it.
Radice Avatar
July 30, 2021 at 11:46 PM
Thank you Harry. Praise indeed. I appreciate your comments. Cheers - Gary
Cunningham Avatar
July 29, 2021 at 11:53 AM
Quite a forboding write Gary, like a scene from a mystery and suspense film. Tom
Radice Avatar
July 29, 2021 at 12:30 PM
Thanks Tom..yes..I thought I'd have a go at writing something a little different. Cheers - Gary
Hankins Avatar
July 29, 2021 at 8:23 AM
So...where do I go from here? Gary. I thought burglar, but a burglar wouldn't have a key! Someone's inside; someone's at the door. Hmmmm.....So, you did this on purpose, didn't you!
Radice Avatar
July 29, 2021 at 9:06 AM
Hi Milt! Yes, I left it open to the reader's imagination. Sometimes, with my poems, less is more. :) Cheers - Gary
Flood Avatar
July 29, 2021 at 7:34 AM
So now I’m gonna spend the day wondering if I’m hiding behind the sofa or sitting by the door wagging my tail and looking forward to my Woofy mix. And just as I think I’ve sussed it, I think aha, someone’s coming home to an empty house. So you’ve got at least one of us pondering...And I bet that just what you intended. Terry
Radice Avatar
July 29, 2021 at 7:37 AM
In one Mister Flood. :)
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