New Horizons

New Horizons One. His lips kiss my skin Whispering that I am not from sin Words powered by artificial lust Weaving lies into my vulnerable mind Just to make me think it’ll be alright Crimson regrets that line my arms and heart Pleading with me that just one more won’t make me depart One more One more day I can stay And pretend that I’m okay I’m sorry this knife shows me truth That last kiss is all I remember To be concerned with the beauty of you bed and what night may hold When you don’t dare give me a second glance by day Sometimes it just doesn’t seem worth it Two. I still remember The petrifying walk that led to my impending revelation My resonating little world crashing in on me Cornered by the ones I loved My only savior stripped from me I was a mess Three. So self-absorbed in pity I was blinded Sightless to the fact there were others like me That she was in peril All caused by my own selfish deeds Four Hollowed out and filled up with hate Paranoia now runs through my veins like a poison Falling, falling deeper into my own worst nightmare Five For the first time in my life he looks at me genuinely I am no longer a burden but a real live girl Soft hair, pale skin, and a broken smile Broken into pieces too small to put back together Too small to even matter But big enough to cut me into so many pieces Six This is all just getting too hard I’m falling apart breaking into shards Twenty new scars She’s drifting farther than I could have imagined He’s gone by day I want to save them But how can I save them when I can’t save myself? Seven God knows I’m no princess But I’d like by own fairy tale ending once in a while Now in this tale I play the dual role of villain and victim Seven months She begs for this mans approval And her words still eat right through me Eight We’re drifting apart yet Closer than ever I can feel the hatred burning in the back of her throat She’s become a stranger Nothing more than a narcissist Nine Silence She ended our friendship With a bullet to the back of the head Etched into the back of my skull The words I coulda shoulda woulda never said to you Left me bound and tied with suicidal memories You lie until they run out of questions Darling you told me not to leave But you’re the one that walked out that door with her already attached to you at the hip with the new name bestie Ten She was nothing more than a ghost A memory so transparent Fading with each day Her absence rings louder in my mind Louder than a bomb Left me powerless with no direction How did I fall so far behind? Eleven He pulled me out of darkness Saved me from my own crimson regrets Stamped out the fire that burned down my confidence And taught me to breathe To breathe To expel the shadows that had nested within my lungs To clear my infected state of mind Defeat my own demons Stitch up my scars And live Twelve Twelve months Fifty two weeks Three hundred and sixty five days Two friends One love Scars will heal, but were meant to bleed And I’m only on page 31 of 365 Beauty can’t grow in darkness If I want to blossom I need to climb and reach my new horizon