Get Your Premium Membership

New Dating Site

New Dating Site Sign up today with grunt or groan or moans Our specimens are dateable or so we say Sign up to Date-It-Mate-It web-site right away Without delay, today, or die True love is hard to find so make it easy Variety is the spice of life so try a different species We do not discriminate. It’s party time Animal, vegetable, minerals and clowns of every kind We will set you up with anything that we can find Don’t look under rocks to find a mate We’ve taken the liberty for your convenience and your sake To secure your bug like buddies and snakes for future dates Kept In a jar, a box and under glass We have men and women refrigerated Some even come alive but only at a princely price Frogs are perfect for one night Marriages are performed at Date-It-Mate-It With whips and chains, we have no shame We'll hook you up with I-Pads with your name Nothing is left to chance Nothing goes to waste for your romance Bricks and stones are half price at our site Sex with them is fine and we sell blinders Critters are for free and come with leashes Date it-Mate it-web site does it right We make all couples fit By using crow bars and pliers And if it doesn’t work We will kill it, to eat it, or wear it home Use credit cards for your convenience But we don't take them all the time Due to local ordinances and obvious crimes Signing up is easy as can be “X” marks the spot Simply state your species And preferences between the sheets Date-it-Mate-It loves to please Sign up today You will never leave

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 1/6/2015 12:59:00 AM
This is hysterical! "We sell blinders" LOL, its a funny poem on a unique topic Earl, pure class as always, I love it! These dating sites might as well publish this as their slogan, should you allow them ;) Awesome!
Login to Reply
Schumacker Avatar
Earl Schumacker
Date: 1/6/2015 4:33:00 AM
Hi Matthew, Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. They say you can sell anything. I've always thought that dating was a challenge. I just made it a little more so. I hope you have a great day. Thanks again and have a Happy New Year. Earl

Book: Reflection on the Important Things