Never Marry

I'm going to tell you a story that is pretty scary. And I'm sure it will convince you to never marry. Because of my marriages, I'm no stranger to pain. My wives were terrible and nearly drove me insane. I haven't been married once or twice, I've been married three times. After I pay them alimony, I don't have a dime. My first wife kicked me in the crotch if I even looked at another girl. My second wife spent everything on expensive jewelry, such as pearls. When I married for the third time, I started getting sick. I later learned that the shedevil was feeding me arsenic. That arsenic was so bad that some times it made me puke all over the table. People tell me to remarry but because of my financial troubles, I'm not able. If you're a man, you'd better do some investigating before you take a wife. And if she is anything like any of my ex-wives, you'd better run for your life.