Never Alone

My whole life I felt alone, A stranger, in even my own skin, But my soul, eventually outgrown, I rip, to try to dig deep within, I cut, for a slice of peace inside, A dart sent to pierce my heart, I missed, can’t lie or hide, I started at the wrist, slit apart, My sight was clouded, covered by blood, My attempt to peal back the layers, so I flay, My eyes were shrouded, he wore a hood, My contempt would reveal that I may had gone astray, Afraid to walk in any given direction, Knowing either way would lead to my downfall, Dismayed to go on living, my only ejection, Was to go to the roof and proceed to fall down, So free from fear, I completely forgot, To relax prevents muscles tensing and breaking the bones, Death was near, I could smell it’s rot, Through the grass, the scent, the cold, not shaking nor aching, still alone, I clambered to my feet, without a limp I took off, If only in testament to my unrelenting dedication, Yano my hand writes only what’s real, and still never enough, Even when it went and fed me so many different medications, Drowning, into the abyss, a snap shot, my thoughts became familiar to me, Though it seemed for certain they would never be able to find me, They found me, I was never forgot, caught, brought up by my family, I may of walked through the shadow of death, but I have beams of light around and behind me . Not just in life but all those who have never left. You know, when I slit my wrists, I cut them true, But something lead me from the veins that would take it all, And when I did sit up on the roof, It wasn’t me that took me past the walls, And when I took enough drink and drugs to kill a hundred, It wasn’t me that kept me awake in my head, gave me the ability, no strength at all, to lay my palms out on the floor, and push up, no weight, no anything, just lift, So from the darkness I could crawl.