Never Again

I mean it mommy
I am sorry for what I did
I'll never tell the truth again
for even if they beg me
and say the truth 
will set me free
I know of the hurt it causes 
so I'll just let it be,
I will slowly die away
and kill myself inside
no worries mother
it wasn't your crime

I know its not my fault either
but why am I being punished
sorry I let the family secret slip
I opened my mouth
oh to hell with me
how did I forget

Well thats ********
I am not sorry
and I could careless
but him, my own father
HE did THIS
how could you stand up for him
for so many years

do you know how many times 
I woke up in the middle of the night
breaking down in tears?
Well mother his secrets out
and it's a little to big
to be forgotten about
but I guess to you
I wasn't big enough
I wasn't even good enough
to be a diamond in the rough

I was just dumped on the side line
watching every play
like a water boy
I wasted my life away
wanted to feel needed
but knowing I am not 
strong enough
smart enough and
to you I am not dead enough
to Hell with trust
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

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Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace