Needle Point Lullaby

He sang sweet songs, sweet needle point lullabies His eyes were crystalized, their awestruck blackness ate me whole I stayed mesmerized by his carelessness and smooth complexion He spit ease and promised comfort His perversions helped to define me He fed off the helpless story my eyes told Like a rat chewing holes in already worn socks The deeper the needle dug, the closer we became 2 more strangers brought together by a spoonful of pretty crystal flakes, Praying for something better The dope trampled through our veins, fusing us together I take the shot and let it break me to pieces I become fragments, collaged together to make one unnecessary disaster I am legs. I am eyes. I am lips. I am warmth. I am sultry. I am body language. I am delirium. I am carelessness. I am 37 flavors of wreckage I am the thrust in his hips and the look in his eyes. I am property. I am the dope sack and the remains left behind I am just weight on the mattress I am another girl on another motel bathroom floor I am the holes in my arms I am confined, super glued to a picture of a drug addicted whore Yet, I still believe I am endless I stay paralyzed in this moment, in my fear of a better way In this ecstasy I stay paralyzed in my regrets, in my remembrance of all things lost In all the moments I lost my control in an empty dope bag It wraps around me like lights on Christmas tree My bad decisions and remorse surround me In a cheap motel room with broken windows and a broken tv It breathes in my heartbreak and exhales my defeat I am alone but my broken parts fit right in The sticky windows separate us from daily life This is a place of isolation, not escape The morning sun doesn’t shine on us We’re just chasing after freedom in the wrong place, Singing our needle point lullaby.