My Worth
My Worth?
Am I not worth it to you?
The care? The focus? The understanding?
I long to love you, but do you long to love me?
Do you long to be with me?
Or maybe I'm just there to ease your heightened emotions and once you're over it, you're over me too?
I've never met someone like you.
Almost perfect, and yet there's this one little thing.
One of the most important things.
Where is your love for me?
Is it locked away, until I walk away?
Will you ever open up to me?
Only when you're scared you'll never see me again?
I'm head over heels for you, but that's not enough.
Me being in your corner and loving you through and through whatever, means nothing to you. But you, you mean everything to me.
You toy with me, my feelings.
You can see that I won't leave you be, and yet still you play with me.
I've thought about leaving, but stay because I feel so deeply that you are the one for me.
Maybe you are... but maybe it just isn't our time.
Maybe you're not, and this is all just a waste of time, energy, and emotions. My emotions, that you don't seem to even care about... or tell me that I'm overreacting.
There are many things, that are simple requests, that take no effort, but are so worth the effort, when you have a great woman by your side. But see, your past and your pride keep you from me. Keeps me empty... emotionally.
I've tried to stay, because I know your issues. I know your feelings. I care to understand. But, do you know my issues, my feelings, do you care to understand?
I make you, us, a priority, but you refuse, because you have other things on your mind, when those things are on my mind as well.
These are my thoughts and my thoughts reign true. I still care because I'm sitting here writing this about you.
I'm still trying to reason and compromise myself for you, and yet I still can't get a "Baby, I'm busy, call you in a few."
You make my world go round, even when I'm not with you.. but it hurts me to know that I'm not even apart of your world when you're with "the crew"...
Still get excited from whenever you call.
You now slander me, publicize yourself about me, indirectly. But you couldn’t talk about me when you were so in “love” with me. Calling me names, the same as you did you ex, should have known you had it in you to do it to me. I always thought you were projecting about infidelity and my intuition rings true.
Insecurity sets in, for the both of us. You see a dude like my pic and make me feel guilt about it. I start to question you and you make me feel crazy... then blue. I never once looked at another guy the way I looked at you.
So where does that leave me.. feeling dumb and confused, for letting you get the best of me, when I never had the best of you.
If you only knew.
I know it’s crazy, but I still love you.
Copyright © Elizabeth Whitehead | Year Posted 2018
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