Christopher Haywood Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

We construct our own mental cages, some come with a key to the lock. 

My Worst Enemy, Behind My Eyes

I catch my own eyes in the bathroom mirror
before I even turn the cold water on.
I watch every quiet, hopeful plan I made
get quietly picked apart and gone.

I wear this skin, I answer to my name,
I’m the author of every doubt I hide.
I pull down my own small victories
and stand my own worst foe, inside.

When 5 a.m. hits with its pale blue light
and promises a second chance to try,
I drag out old mistakes from years ago
just to give myself a reason why.

I tell myself I am not man enough,
that every step forward is a fake,
that the moment things get steep or real
I’ll bend beneath the weight and break.

I sit at my desk in the afternoon slump,
building a maze out of unread mail.
I lock the doors, throw away the keys,
and then wonder why I’m set to fail.

I dissect every single word I said,
turning harmless moments into debt.
I don't need anyone to tear me down,
I haven't even given myself a chance yet.

And yet I'm the one who holds the pen,
the one who keeps writing out the fear.
If I'm the architect of all this noise,
I'm the only one who can clear it from here.

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David Crandall September 4, 2026 at 8:03 PM I can relate to so much of this poem. My advice to us is "be easy on ourselves". Christopher Haywood September 5, 2026 at 4:28 PM Thank you fo yor comment, David. At one time in my life when I looked into the mirror, I actually hated me. Things are different since then. - Chris

Margarita Lillico August 28, 2026 at 8:42 PM Congratulations Christopher! Very personal, emotionally intelligent entry! Aren’t we all the “architects of all this noise”?! And yes, holding the pen! I love the connection. Thank you! M Christopher Haywood August 29, 2026 at 4:05 PM Thank you Margarita.Yes, we are the architects with the pen, but what do we do... - Chris

Alison A Smith August 23, 2026 at 4:22 PM Christopher, this is a deeply moving and intensely relatable poem. Your exploration of self-sabotage and the "mental cages" we construct for ourselves is incredibly poignant. The imagery you use, from the "5 a.m. pale blue light" to building a "maze out of unread mail," perfectly captures the quiet weight of anxiety. I especially love the empowering realization in your final stanza—that the architect of the noise is also the only one holding the pen to clear it. A beautifully vulnerable and well-crafted piece! Christopher Haywood August 23, 2026 at 7:02 PM I thank you very kindly for your comments, Alison. - Chris