My Struggle

Destroying myself from the inside, out Nervously wondering what my life is about Looking for meaning that always seems right there Gone with bad choices that make life unfair Hopeful uncertainty keeps driving my will Everytime I pick up my emotionless kill A want that is consumed by a need to control My reasons for not wanting to give up my soul Lost, but not gone, I barely function enough To keep all the hate from tearing a part the love Through many memories taken for what they are A thread I hold onto enough to not go too far