My Story
Look here in my mind - there is a story to tell
It wont make much sense - but I’ll try to explain well
There’s a past that is hidden - far far below
Void of any thoughts or feelings - and no light does it show
It starts out quite dreary - in the first several years
When I tried to remember - there came only tears
Little bits and pieces - of memories all plain
Just seconds of time playing - each one scattered with pain
They might not be real - a mere picture in your mind
But why does it keep playing - too many times.
They don’t have much meaning - but come with much shame
Which doesn’t make sense - at this point in the game
I was too young to know - whats right or whats wrong
So why am I plagued - with this debilitating song
It hurts just a little - it hurts all the time
I have to pretend - i knew all my lines
My story is crazy - so many others are not
I wish I knew what was what - and why I got dealt what I got
For years I felt guilty - like it was my fault all this shame
But come to find out - to others, twas just a stupid game.
So the joke is on me - how funny is that?
When I was growing up - I should’ve been such a brat
They played me so foolish - is how I feel now
But they are the foolish ones - because I made it somehow
With all the misfortune - and abandon and lack
And no hint of normal - no one had my back
I missed out on middle age - due to numbing and a daze
Only to come to my senses - with years added to my age
Here I am in my fifties - I now realize quite a bit
It cost a lifetime oh well - I know now this is it.
I know who I am now - I know what they did
I know what those pictures are - and I know what they hid
I don’t have to see - all those memories now
I’ve dealt with them my own way - the ones I need to anyhow.
My story is told - a portion anyway
If you want to know more - come see me some day
2016
Copyright © Lesa Rodden | Year Posted 2017
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