My Radiator Leaks Or My Exhaust Backfires
Every time I sneeze or cough
Either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
Shouldn't be a big surprise
It's a definite sign we ain't no young chicken no more
When you grunt just putting on your socks
It's the ninth inning with two men out
If you have to turn up the volume on TV
Till it shatters the wine glasses in your dining room credenza
You are not far from the end
Another sign that you ain't no spring chicken
Is when you repeat the same sentence twice in a row
Is when you repeat the same sentence twice in a row
Also when you forget to zip up after you pee
What's worse though is when you forget to zip down
When everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work
It feels like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere
Your knees buckle but your belt won't
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there
You sing along with elevator music
You have a dream about prunes
Your nose and ears are hairier than your head
In dog years you're dead
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional
And finally... inside every old person is a young person
Wondering what the hell happened!
© Jack Ellison 2014
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