My Purpose

I live in a house of Pain
and it reflects the neglect and hurt
of the children who live here. 
The furniture is broken or torn 
and the floors stay dirty.
No matter how hard I clean
I can’t wash away the stains that linger.
The walls are bare, void of smiling faces 
We don’t have to camouflage our Pain
for we know our truth.

They have journeyed here,
their bags packed with anguish. 
Remnants of their lives.  
Each bringing their own Pain 
that now has blended with one another,
intertwining 
creating such a tangled ball of despair 
that It can’t be unraveled by just one hand.   

There are no curtains at the windows
because we wait for the sun,
huddled together 
Hiding behind doors in the darkness
Afraid that someone will find us. 
We are melancholy and even in times of joy 
we hurt
with temporary laughter and broken smiles.  
And the Pain lingers, 
its ensconced in the divides of the walls. 
In the corners and cracks.

But the house is strong, it hasn’t buckled under
our agony
It holds us, protects us, warms our bodies
It peeps out its windows aware of the outsiders 
the ones who have caused harm and bring the Pain. 
It will let them know they are not welcome
Chills them, making them uneasy  
It reveals to them it’s spirits.
Frightening them, never to return again. 

I am the woman of this house
But my arms can’t open wide enough
and my words aren’t strong enough
Can’t penetrate the hurts that has affected 
each one of them. 
For I am hesitant, unsure
Because I also have Pain and my pain is great 
It is rooted and has settled in the pits of my soul 
It has become my nemesis 
It has become my Every day.

Now is my test, my redemption
I must find the strength to make the Pain
Go away
So in order to heal their wounds. 
I must learn to push my hurt aside 
This is my war and I will fight   
I will not let it devour their youth as it did mine. 
Erase their dreams while whispering in their ears
“There is no future”
I will paint the walls and soon the sun will shine 
through the windows and the cracks. 
We will dance victorious, embracing our lives 
while never allowing other's sins cross us again.
We will love, forgive, and set ourselves free.

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Rena Ong

Date: 3/19/2021 1:51:00 AM

Very expressive poem that expresses pain of abuse very well. Keep fighting. You have another purpose besides a protector and healer, you are a poet with a voice . Your arms reach out for those in your care, your voice reaches further to teach others about this. Well done you