My Pride
I sit in the middle of my bed, close my eyes and begin the attempt to clear my head.I sit
there and try to think of nothing but I begin to think about something. In the attempt to clear
my head,the thoughts build up instead. Now I'm taking a trip down memory lane and now I
start to feel the pain and my closed eyes begin to rain. Remembering the good times that
didnt last. I open my teary eyes to realize im stuck in the past...I lost everything in a flash.
Now I'm angry because of the pain I feel, I keep wondering if my wounded heart will ever
heal. When will I stop mourning my mother? I stay missing my jailed brother. I wish my
siblings would get it together, will I have to suffer forever?!!! I keep fighting and striving but
problems keep arising. My mind is in so many different places, like a slideshow it shows me
all the missed faces. I wish I could describe the pain I feel inside, I'm on a rollar coaster
going down an emotional ride. My pride won't let me speak, if I expose myself I see myself
as weak. I suck it up and put those feeling back. I wipe my eyes and sit up then I shake my
head and stand up. I've gone back to shut down mode. I'm hurting on the inside and playing
numb on the outside...
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