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Notes About The Poem

My Pet Hates - Lavatory Humour

Some guys sprinkle when they have a tinkle
and spurt wee wee all over the floor
Then they leave the lavatory seat up
these two actions I simply abhor!

The ladies sit down on the toilet
when they are in need of the loo
But they always take ages to finish
it’s no wonder there's often a queue!

But my biggest bug bear when I'm sitting
is that there is no darn toilet roll
I have to fumble about for a tissue
so I can wipe my dirty butt hole!

LAST VERSE INSPIRED BY GOING TO A VENUE WHICH HAD WALL MOUNTED DISPENSERS ... FOUR OF THEM IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET THE PAPER OUT OF  .... ARGH, THANKFULLY I ALWAYS CARRY TISSUE IN MY BAG 

08/14/20

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Paul Callus Date: 8/18/2020 2:03:00 PM Considering I fall in the 'men' category I can assure you that I am fussy about using loos, and I hate public ones!! Thanks for the laugh Jan:) Hugs // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/18/2020 2:50:00 PM I don't like using public loos unless absolutely necessary lol:-0 hugs jan xx

Michelle Faulkner Date: 8/16/2020 1:34:00 PM I think anyone would hate that - I would! Made me pee with joy :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/18/2020 2:50:00 PM ha ha ha thanks Michelle:-) hugs jan xx

Carolyn Devonshire Date: 8/16/2020 12:55:00 PM :) You gave me quite a laugh, Jan! So glad you brought the tissue. I think we've all experienced this. Hugs, Carolyn Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/18/2020 2:48:00 PM there is a little poetic licence of course lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tania Kitchin Date: 8/16/2020 10:31:00 AM Ha ha, love it Jan, you made me smile and belly laugh! Hugs :) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/18/2020 2:46:00 PM Thanks Tania:-) hugs Jan xx

Lindsay Laurie Date: 8/15/2020 4:36:00 PM Hello Jan ... the trick is Jan, for men; have a fly stuck low down in the bowl. They never miss trying to remove the fly, and why don't ladies put the seat up for us men - thanks again Jan - Lindsay Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/15/2020 4:38:00 PM ha ha ha so that is why blokes have flies in their trousers - and no way am i lifting the seat lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta Date: 8/15/2020 12:56:00 PM Nice write! In the men's, the toilet paper is usually found all over the floor. I think mothers should assign their sons to the toilet cleaning chore as the smell should convince them that is no way to treat their mother! Aloha! Rico Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/15/2020 1:48:00 PM thanks Rico:-) I have to say it is not often I have frequented men's toilets lol:-) hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer Date: 8/14/2020 4:55:00 PM great one, jan! my pet peeve in a public toilet is the lack of a hook on which to hang my bag. so often they are missing and it drives me nuts! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/14/2020 5:19:00 PM I agree with your Ilene it's irritating but think I can do without the hook... i can;t do without loo roll lol:-) hugs jan xx

David Kavanagh Date: 8/14/2020 2:59:00 PM Hi Jan cannot beat a fine piece of toilet humor, had a great laugh at this one I try use the urinals myself or lift the seat but your probably right I forget to put it back down, typical man cheers David, damn them tight dispensers. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/14/2020 3:13:00 PM the 'tight' dispensers with the tiny hole that the paper pokes out of drives me mad... more often than not the person before left it so no paper pokes out ...now I always check before I sit down lol:-) hugs Jan xx