My Papa the Rockstar

My Papa's a "Rockstar" but I never saw his show, yet people sure would stare at us wherever we would go. He was the world to me for him my eyes shone so bright, that was before I knew the diffrence between wrong and right. Back when as long as he came around hi9s absences meant nothing to me, for I thought he was just the kind of man I wanted to grow to be. Innocence blinded me to every mistake taht by him was made, with that naivety, in the darkness I stayed. Long after every-one knew my Papa was a "Rockstar", some seeing his show, I refused to see the depleted ghost of the man I used to know. But the joyous memories of before became harder to recall, more of the withdrawing from our normal visits is what I saw. Distant became my Papa who used to see me everyday, he needed desperately to find a way out yet couldn't see the way. More and more I wanted him by my side, yet with every passing milestone he seemed to run and hide. Disappointment took way to merely sad expectations for me, and slowly I came to realize he just wasn't the man I believed him to be. It seems to me that he once had to be a man filled with pride, but perhaps when I was young he began his downward slide. Now as a grown man myself I reminise of a man I once held in high regard, a man who simply couldn't cope when life came down and hit him hard. A prospect once filled with potential, hope and uninhibitated ambition, a prospect who suddenly found himself stuck in a hopeless situation. I now am painfully aware of what a "Rockstar" is and the substance that is his foe, and understand and appreciate that I was never submitted to his show. He was once my best friend, my hero, my inspiration to it all, I'm glad I have thta memory being as I was too young to comprehend his greatest fall.