My Pain Is Mine

I am being told to let go By almost everyone I know Release, let it out, let it be Plunge into passivity While I howl to bitter beauty My bruises bloom a thorny tree Guarding roses of agony My pain is mine, it belongs to me This torment is my blood, it breathes with every breath, it beats with my heartbeats Within my tears, it weeps It shrieks, uncoiled, beneath my skin Where the sin of suffering begins It is my fertile fury, my hellish choir My savage soul, my cathartic fire It is large and lush and livid Conquering and vivid It is too precious, too valuable, to trade away or wallow in trinkets, or flimsy platitudes, or empty cliches, or hollow promises of unfulfilling fortresses to follow Their learned words I dare spurn For to recover, I must burn So I will keep this, for I know its worth, even if their unsolicited, unwarranted, intrusive, Questioning and questionable, inconclusive Unadvised advisors do not grant it girth It is in my pain I find What I wish most Where rage of kindness blinds My grieving ghosts. 5/20/18