My New Home
I stand in the rain, my heart filled with pain
My clothes are covered with many bloodstains
I look to the sky and begin to cry
The heavens never opened when I was alive
So why would they open now? To Him I still cannot bow
For God has watched as my life has dwindled down
And crumbled to nothing, yet I’m still left wanting
I’ve accepted death, yet I’m still looking for something
I fall to my knees, I beg and plead
I need to go to heaven and see
My sister to tell her, I’m sorry I never
Understood when she said I needed to be better
She kept telling me my lies, and helpless cries
Would take me nowhere, and yet I never tried
To hear what she said, now I’m close to dead
The concrete underneath my final bed
The water hits my face, a man fallen from grace
I can’t stop the blood from spreading all over the place
I’ll never see Heaven’s gates, the clouds never break
I cannot amend for all my mistakes
This is why I made a fist, no longer thinking of risks,
I took the knife and cut deep into my wrists
The pain is overbearing, draining, wearing
I’m numb to it all, I’ve completely stopped caring
The Devil joyously shouts, I can hear him cry out
My soul was always his, there was never any doubt
I did too much wrong, I was never strong
Heaven was a place I never belonged
I tell my sister I’m sorry, I don’t want her to worry
I hope she can hear me, but the Devil’s in quite a hurry
I hear the sirens bells, people calling for help
But I’ve already left for my new home…Hell.
Copyright © Pratik Dash | Year Posted 2011
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