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My Name Is

Anonymity is my name Alcohol was the beast I couldn’t tame At another Double A meeting get to hear some more shame Rehashed, warmed over war stories, they all sound the same Now, it’s my turn to go to the center of the room Announce my name is ... then darkly tale my gloom Decaying gray matter tissue is rotting my brain Brow-beating spouse, anger issues ... did I share enough pain? Look up at the clock, it’s almost Happy Hour again The time when I squash sad memories by ordering another tonic and gin I’m talking to some stranger’s friend when the dreaded blackout begin Wake up in a cluttered room; don’t know where I am, don’t know with whom Plane ticket in my pocket says I’m in the city by the Bay And that my name is ... perhaps an alias Don’t remember if it was the same one that paid the bill yesterday Missed the ninth step, fell down the stairs in the hallway I feel that dragon breath breathing down the back of my neck Firewater always did help me to forget what my name is ... Start all over again today, go to another meeting my guilty conscience say Get another sponsor to Sherpa the way, as the matter in my brain is losing more gray Going down the same worn out steps, only in a different place Glumly greeting another new face, dragging that heavy ball and chain Go sit somewhere in the back, and remain anonymous ... just wallow in my pissy, drunken pain Got a hangover pounding in my head, clanging ... nonstop banging ... alarm bells ringing Nobody but me and the bottle to blame As I try so hard to remember what was my given birth name

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




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Date: 8/19/2017 8:06:00 PM
Wonderful gritty write Freddie; reminds me of that old black and white movie with Susan Hayward in it called "Smash Up!"~Che :)
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Date: 8/16/2017 1:59:00 PM
I have never but I know that is a rough battle to go through.My father was that way, he wanted to drive a car.. my mother told him to give up alcohol, it took time but he did it. Have a nice day my friend.
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Date: 8/16/2017 11:49:00 AM
I knew someone who lost everything because of alcohol. Sad! An awesome write Freddie :)
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Date: 8/16/2017 11:34:00 AM
A sad write about what alcoholics face and go through Freddie, but with well written truth as you are able to with write consistently :)
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Book: Shattered Sighs