My Motivation

I've seen what trauma does, I know how hard it hits. Every one I know who has it, knows it doesn't quit. I've been in the darkness, where I felt like a waste of space. When I went into a crowd. I would put a mask on my face. I never spoke about how i felt, when I did I felt I complained to much. I'd hold it in and explode, because the pressure would build up. I've been through hell, and I still survive. Because I can't let pain, take my life Now you will struggle, you must do your best, all that trauma, is your test If you fail, you'll never see, all the wonderful things, that you can be Now we all go through hardships, and I know its hard, its all the same deck, we just have different cards. Now there is people who love you, I am one of them. I will always be by your side, I'll always be your friend I have issues, that I've never really said, all this imagery, flowing through my head. I always have been missing, the one I call my dad, now I really need a father, that I always dreamed I had. Life is sure not perfect, It was hard for me to learn. I still have the scars on my heart, from every time it burned. I grew up with my aunt, I never had my mom, I also grew up thinking, I did some thing wrong. I do not blame my mother, because it as was all my dad, when she came to see us, he treated her so bad. I also lived with my uncle, who came and left again, fighting an addiction. A fight he never wins. I was taken from my family, and put in foster care. I hated everything. I always said it was not fair. I had my demons, I battled every day, I always jumped a hurdle, but they got bigger along the way. I struggled with my self. I knew that I was gay, but I hated my self for it, I was told its not okay. I always tried to fit in, but it was nothing but trouble. Every piece I tried, never fit the puzzle. I never was comfortable, with who I was within, depending on who was there, I tried on different skin I've been crossed, and ive had a beating, but through it all, here I am still breathing. I've Told you this story,hoping that it helped you, I want you to know , you can always break through. Now for the closer, i wake up every day, and just before I go to bed, I pray that your okay. What doesn't kill you, will make you stronger, once you keep that in mind, you will pain no longer