My Mind Vacation TRI

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For Trimeric poetry contest sponsored by Janice Canerdy iambic tetrameter. The rhyme scheme should be as follows: a b a b B c c A d d B e e.

I've gone away into my mind Where angels dance into the night Where all my worries, left behind Where nothings wrong and all is right Where angels dance into the night To music only heaven knows With whispered words of love, said low Where all my worries, left behind There's moonshine, twilights’ sweet surprise There are hellos but no goodbyes Where nothings wrong and all is right Until to life I must arrive I am refreshed, I am revived

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Andrea Dietrich

Date: 8/8/2024 9:51:00 PM

Fantastic. This form is new to me and so cool

Gershon Wolf

Date: 8/3/2024 8:34:00 PM

What reason is there not to turn the best of night// into a grand celebration, come daylight... Inspirational penning, Crystol. Thanks you, Gershon

Crystol Woods
Date: 8/4/2024 9:09:00 AM

Thank YOU! So glad to hear from you Gershon! Xo

Paula Goldsmith

Date: 8/3/2024 10:05:00 AM

I enjoyed reading your creative/fun "My Mind Vacation TRI" write. One can always take a fast vacation in the mind. It is a free trip. Hahaha!!! "Good Luck" Have a wonderful/blessed day..........

Crystol Woods
Date: 8/3/2024 1:17:00 PM

Tysm!! As long as we can find our way back again right?! Lol xo

Tom Woody

Date: 8/3/2024 6:18:00 AM

Hey girl, I remember the last time you tried iambic pentameter. Look at you now! Wow, such improvement. If I were to offer any critique it would be that last line where it misses a bit. But yeah, this should be a top notcher for Janice

Crystol Woods
Date: 8/3/2024 1:17:00 PM

Yay! Ty!

Tom Woody
Date: 8/3/2024 9:07:00 AM

Nice!

Crystol Woods
Date: 8/3/2024 7:12:00 AM

"I am refreshed, I am revived"...??

Crystol Woods
Date: 8/3/2024 6:46:00 AM

You're awesome Tom, thank you! I wish I could understand why it doesn't work but I've come a long way and I think eventually it will all click for me! I really do appreciate you! Xo

Tom Woody
Date: 8/3/2024 6:39:00 AM

Yes whether it's pentameter or tetrameter the key is in the rhythm, and you nailed it. The problem with the last line is the word Fully. To fix it try " I'm so aware" or similar

Crystol Woods
Date: 8/3/2024 6:36:00 AM

Really!?? Oh I'm so happy to hear this! Thank you Tom! This is tetrameter...I hope I didn't just blow the whole compliment lol... it's it still correct? And I just can't seen to tell Where it misses in the last line. Your advice would be welcome but if your not comfortable giving me the answer I'll understand. :) xoxo