My Life

Life, Hi How are you now Oh me, not wonderful For I have sadness and am weak No that is not swell how shall we change this Hold on, I may have an idea Oh please oh please help me My thoughts shall fix My Life

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Randolph Hester

Date: 1/15/2020 10:06:00 AM

I think what is so good about this poem is how you constructed the first and second parts around the bilateral axis. The axis asks the changing question, then you interject the conversational "Hold on" to introduce the solution, again an insight using your thoughts and thinking to overcome the problem. You reveal both a young personal way of talking (Hold on) and really mature reasoning.

Constance La France

Date: 12/17/2019 10:18:00 AM

Atticus, I enjoyed reading your Ricktameter poem, not an easy form to do and you did it well, and welcome to Poetry Soup !