My Heaven's Playout
Have you ever felt heaven?
More specifically,
The after world in an angel’s eyes,
The angel in your third period music class
Who never sits straight up
And never talks to loud
And never is openly too mad.
Or the angel in second period drama,
The one with the long blond hair who smiles
And says “It’s not okay,
But we’ll be okay”
While her bandages are still damp,
And her wounds are not closed.
Or the angel on the phone
Who promises forever and always
While he counts down the hours to see you again.
The tall one
With the soft brown hair he can’t control,
And the most darling eyes,
Blue or green or grey.
The one who wraps you in everything he is
Even when he’s not sure what he is.
The one who says he’s a monster
Because he couldn’t save you from your own hell?
I have.
I’ve felt heaven in the nonjudgmental gaze of my love,
My platonic and romantic adoration.
I have seen why.
Why I will wait to move on.
Why I may never cross the river.
Because I have no where to go if they’re not there,
And they have no where to go
If not with their people
Who have people
Who have people.
And so,
I know I will take my heaven past the grave.
I may never get to judgement day
But I will be happy
In the kingdom we will build in between.
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