My Friend Jim Beam
My Friend Jim Bean
The highway signs go by so fast.
The whole damn night had been a blast.
There's a red light chasing behind me
and wouldn't you know it I could barely see.
Driving blind drunk and all over the road.
It's amazing how much your skills erode.
I was drinking all night at the local bar.
Should have called a taxi but I was driving my car.
I was dancing with a girl who had a perfect ass.
When I thought about her it made me step on the gas.
At first I thought this must be a bad dream.
But there between my legs was my friend Jim Beam.
I grabbed that bottle and took a big swig
and ole Jim convinced me I could ditch this pig.
Took a quick turn down a one way street
when I saw something ahead I didn't want to meet.
Right in front of me someone turned on the brights.
It was an 18 wheeler and I was in his headlights.
Right before we hit I made the car swerve.
Barely got around him when I hit a hair-pin curve.
Slammed on the brakes and started spinning around.
Must have looked like my car was a merry-go-round.
Didn't hit a thing and when I came to a stop.
My thoughts once again returned to ditching that cop.
I even yelled something stupid like you'll never catch me copper.
But I almost gave up when I thought I saw a helicopter.
The cop chasing me must have freaked when he saw that truck.
Probably thought he was dead but you wouldn't believe his luck.
He drove right into a ditch and got launched into the air
and I felt so helpless all I could do was stare.
It looked like a helicopter his car in the sky.
The way it looked to me was he was gonna die.
I thought about his family and got real upset.
If he died I knew God wouldn't let me forget.
Only a miracle could keep him from harm.
Then I noticed his car was headed straight for this barn.
Right up in the hayloft is where his car went
and it landed real nice without a scratch or a dent.
Cop was hooting and hollering when he got out of his car.
Screaming something about being a shooting star.
Before I pulled out I gave him a honk and a wave.
Thanking the Lord I didn't have to put flowers on his grave.
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