M. Hussain Effendi Poet Rhyme

My First Poem

Once Jim and I were good brothers and friends
But soon our friendship came to an end

Then there was a wall between us like a shield
We both had to go in different fields

I had to work hard for my life
He got served like a queen in a bee hive

I did not get time to sleep or play
He played on the grass and slept on the hay

Then once again we both met each other
But I had forgotten that he was my brother

(No laughing please, I wrote this when I was around 11 years old...hehe)

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Lenny Gazbowski April 4, 2016 at 8:30 PM Well done - the 11 yr old you !

Poet Destroyer A March 16, 2016 at 11:39 PM M. Hussain Effendi, Enjoyed the way you expressed every line. Please keep writing and sharing you're poetry. LOVE LINDA

Elizabeth Wesley April 15, 2013 at 7:32 PM Maybe he got hayfever sleeping in the hay! How are you dear friend; yes I miss you but was so happy to have you visit. Hope life is treating you well! Hugs to you, Lizzie

Elizabeth Wesley May 21, 2012 at 7:24 PM Perhaps a little well deserved jealousy. Playing favorites isn't fair.

Elizabeth Wesley May 4, 2012 at 12:08 PM Part of my family are people I'd rather not know too. I think most of us have a few.

Daver Austin May 3, 2012 at 2:46 PM Damn good for an eleven year old, or even older. daver

Mohammad Yamin April 24, 2012 at 1:31 PM Very good poem for a lad 11 years old. Most admirable

Elizabeth Wesley April 6, 2012 at 8:57 PM Clever lad you were and are; so happy to see a new one posted by you. Hope you and your brother are good friends again! :)

Laura Breidenthal March 26, 2012 at 10:18 PM Very well-structured poem for an 11 year old. I very much enjoyed the verse. :) Always, Laura

Mohammad Yamin March 24, 2012 at 2:52 PM Early birds catch the worm. No wonder you have admirable poetic qualities today. Thanks Hussain for your kind words of appreciation of my poem The Wound. I am deeply moved. It causes a deep wound if ones mother dies at an impressionable age, specially if his father is already dead and he has a little sister to take care of who also dies within a couple of years. The wound becomes cancerous never to be healed.

Lucilla Carrillo March 20, 2012 at 10:10 AM For being, your first poem. I think it's great. Thanks for sharing. Lucilla

Daver Austin March 20, 2012 at 10:08 AM The conclusion might be - you and JIm became good friends again, what ever was the problem had been forgotten. Smart 11 year old. Love, daver

Carol Sunshine Brown March 20, 2012 at 6:46 AM Thank you for adding your spices to the soup today M. I am enjoying reading all the appetizing poetry posted here today. Have a wonderful week. May inspiration hit the tip of your pen and never let go. Love, Carol